✔︎ Sakura's Moronic Best Friends (1/2)

Chapter 11; Escaping

Sakura Haruno was a bit of an introvert.

It wasn't a secret, exactly, but few people actually knew just how much of an introvert she really was. Mostly, this had to do with the fact that she could be quite loud and sometimes even outgoing.

The thing was, even though she was extremely good at doing those things, she hated it. Hated it; loathed it with a passion.

But being those things she hated was a requirement for doing the things she loved. You couldn't be a very good doctor or intern if you couldn't talk to patients. You couldn't be a good intern and convince the hospital to hire you on - even though you had to do some serious begging just to be considered - by not being completely and always cheerful and enlightening. So, yes, Sakura had gotten very good at being all those things.

She learned early on when she had to talk and connive her way into scholarships and teacher's good graces for the sole purpose of recommendation letters that she could kiss her future medical school dream goodbye unless she wasn't perfect in everything, from academics to friendliness to social standing.

She had learned to bite down on her blushes, clench her trembling hands, and swallow down the lump in her throat every time she had a presentation, job interview, scholarship interview, and every other thing in life that required her to leave the peace of her home and actually talk to people and pretend to be a functioning human being.

Almost no one knew that Sakura had had numerous therapists and tutors attempt to reach into the depths of her mind and cajole her inner extrovert out. Like being an introvert was something she could be cured of. Like it was some type of mindset that could simply go away with a handful of practices and role playing exercises.

Though Sakura supposed one good thing had come out of all that.

She'd learned that no matter how much she tried and no matter how many times she had to give presentations or go to job interviews or deal with other peoples' eyes on her, it would never actually get easier.

No. It would never get easier.

But she would just get better at faking it.

That's why so few people knew, really. Not because she tried to hide it, but because she was so good at faking it, most people never thought there was anything to fake.

And that's why Sakura was so good at so many things. All of her teachers loved her, she'd always been in the top ranking grade-wise, been a favorite in the children's ward of the hospital, etc, etc . . . Not because she was actually good at any of those things except the academics part, but because she knew the importance of faking it.

And she could give anyone the little sayings her parents and early teachers and therapists alike had told her for years, from Fake it 'till you make it and It gets easier the more you practice, but those were all dirty little lies.

There was no easier.

Sakura only felt slightly bad when a manager or teacher might come up to her out of the blue and tell her she was great that day and she really knew her stuff and oh, she was just so talented at conversing with people. Even though she felt like she was chewing on nails every time someone made eye-contact with her. Even though she felt like she was drowning and her face itched and her mouth was too dry every time she had to talk to someone, even if she knew them, because that was just how things were for her. Because she knew it was all a lie, but it the good kind of lie, she supposed, the kind other people preferred seeing. Sometimes the truth of things like this was why so many people preferred to live among lies. Because if they didn't, they'd never succeed in doing all that much of anything (at least in her case.