✔︎ Sakura's Moronic Best Friends (1/2)

Chapter 1; Getting Kidnapped

"I swear to god, Naruto, if you don't put me down in five freakin' seconds, I'm going to find all of your ramen and set it on fire."

'Calm down....' Sakura reminded herself. 'You are calm and not angry and not about to shove the sharpest item you could find up Naruto's-'

"BUT...BUT....SAKURA-CHAAAAA-"

"One."

She was just minding her own goddamn business. Sleeping. She had been sleeping, and it was around three in the fucking morning when these two buffoons she called her best friends (A/N: Soon to be ex-best-friends, possibly dead-ex-best-friends.) had broken into her apartment.

"Hn."

What's worse was that Sakura knew that both Naruto and Sasuke had a key. Both of them. She had specifically given them both a key so they could let themselves in whenever they wanted. Because that's what best friends did.

But, apparently, these two utter morons thought the definition of best friends was to crawl through an open window while said best friend was sleeping oh-so peacefully after a twelve hour shift at the hospital and loudly pull her from her slumber, literally carrying her out her door into the waiting running car outside.

"Two."

She only prayed at least one of them was smart enough to lock the door behind them.

"Dobe."

Sakura sincerely doubted it though. Because, really, she was beginning to honest-to-god question the amount of brain cells between the two of them.

"Three."

"TEME! WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON!?"

Sakura could feel the vein pop in her forehead.

"SASUKE-TEME IS THE ONE WHO CRASHED YOUR VASE WHEN WE CRAWLED THROUGH THE WINDOW, THOUGH!"

Ah. So that was the crash she had heard.

'Deep breath.' Sakura reminded herself. 'In through the nose, out through the mouth . . .'

After the two morons (A/N: Because that was what Sakura had come to the conclusion to rename them both as, since the thought of their actual names sent a whole new kind of rage through her.) kidnapped her and driven away, both studiously deciding to ignore her questions/threats of castration, and Sakura, being too tired to really care at the time, had fallen asleep once more in the backseat.

She was sorely regretting that decision.

She had woken up in Naruto's arms, which wasn't that bad, but what was worse was where they now were.

The fucking Uchiha mansion.

'Oh, fucking hell no.' She yelled mentally.

Naruto -the poor sap- apparently had not wanted to wake her (A/N: Oh, the irony.) and face her wrath, so had instead gathered her up in his arms and started walking into the mansion. It wasn't like she was particularly heavy, anyways.

The downside to this decision was that he and his neon orange jacket was the first thing Sakura saw upon waking, and therefore the target of her fury.

They were still in the long ass driveway to the mansion, so Sakura thought she still had a chance at escape. She just had to make sure those insufferable relatives of Sasuke's didn't see her.

Because, truth be told, getting kidnapped by Naruto and Sasuke wasn't the worst thing they'd ever done to Sakura. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Sure, she would be mightily pissed off with them both, but when they did it, typically they had a decent reason. After a long period of nothing but hospital shifts and ten second meals in-between and possibly a dead patient, Sakura would get a few days off (A/N: Meaning Naruto would bother the hospital staff while Sasuke pulled his annoying family connections to somehow, miraculously, get Sakura some paid time off.) and the next thing she knew, Sakura was getting pulled into an unmarked van and taken to one of the Uchiha resorts.