✔︎ Sakura's Moronic Best Friends (1/2)

Chapter 4; Getting Clothes

If there had been a window in the bathroom Sakura could have climbed out of, she probably would have. But the only window was about the size of her head and didn't even open. This desire was partly due to the fact that she could still hear Deidara and Sasori bickering about art outside the door and the fact that someone - Sakura was guessing Naruto and/or Shisui - was scratching at the bathroom door she had locked so she could wash her face and brush her teeth in peace.

She even stayed in the bathroom longer than she needed to in (A/N: read: stupid) hope that at least some of the men outside would get tired of waiting for her and leave her room.

But the scratching kept happening, and she was pretty positive Hidan had joined Naruto and Shisui at some point in feebly trying to get inside based on the string of curses she was hearing. This was then followed by a loud smack and even louder curses as either Kisame or Kakuzu tried - and failed - to pull one or all of the boys away. When Sakura heard something crash in the room and something said about how art is a bang! and Kakuzu's irritated grunt voicing unceremoniously that he's not paying for that either, she decided to call it quits and exit the bathroom.

And - wouldn't you know it - Sasuke was still pretending to be asleep.

Deciding that if she was going to have to endure this stupidity she was going to bring him down with her, Sakura stalked over to the bed and pushed Sasuke from it, causing him to fall ungracefully to the floor with the blanket wrapped around his torso. He glared at her from his position on the floor, not moving from where he fell on his back, hands splayed on either side of his head.

Sakura grinned devilishly at him.

A blur of orange crossed Sakura's peripheral vision and she swiftly moved to the left, watching as Tobi toppled over the bed and landed on his cousin Shisui.

"What is it with everyone's need to tackle me?" Sakura wondered out loud to herself.

Tobi bounced right back up, Shisui still looking dazed on the floor. Sakura eyed him and wondered if all that falling on his head had finally given him brain damage. But then she realized that (1) she didn't really care and (2) brain damage was the least of Shisui's worries, what with everything else crazy with him and his insane family.

"Tobi came to fetch Sakura-chan for breakfast!" Tobi exclaimed, bouncing around the room until he was at Sakura's side.

Kisame eyed Tobi with horror. "You didn't cook, did you?"

Tobi shook his head frantically. "Itachi-nii-san cooked!"

"Oh, thank god," Deidara murmured, no doubt remembering the incident with Tobi in the kitchen and the burning ramen that somehow ended up in a frying pan and the strange smell of fish permeating the house for weeks afterwards. The fire department had politely asked to not ever be called again in the case of a kitchen fire.

Sakura was already heading out the door when she remembered her two moronic friends and looked back. Yeah, Naruto was wrestling with Hidan and Sasuke was still on the floor, wrapped up in the blankets (A/N: she swore to god that if he was trying to go back to sleep again . . .).

Suddenly, Sakura was off the ground and being spirited away down the stairs. She heard a few loud protests from the other men in the room and one vulgar exclamation of "What did I say about no one else touching the bitch but me!?"

Her fist clenched instinctively and she even started to twist into a position she needed to have the best leverage to kick the bastard where the sun don't shine, but then she caught a glimpse who it was holding her and relaxed slightly.

Kakuzu carefully dropped Sakura back on her feet once they stood at the entrance to the kitchen. He looked down at her and simply said, "Hidan was getting that look in his eyes." Meaning: Hidan was getting that rape-y look in his eyes. Again.