Maid

9

"I'm sorry, now can we get back together like nothing ever happened?"

fuck no.

"You're kidding right?" I swear this boy gets more stupider by the second.

"Not really." He shrugged.

I'm at Alex's house and he has the house to himself. He lives with 2 other boys, his roommates and luckily they aren't here.

"Alex, no we can not get back together." I let out a sigh.

I'm tired. I didn't go back to sleep, I just showered, ate and watch Netflix. I am so fucking sleepy. Stupid videos, I'm blaming the boys. Even though it's my dumbass who stayed up.

"Why not Samantha. I feel so fucking guilty for all the shit I put you threw. I'm so sorry and I should've known better than to not trust you. I know your past relationships were hell for you and I knew you wouldn't have put me threw that. Apparently I didn't and I had to put you threw all that pain again. I feel so horrible for causing that pain, that you never wanted to feel." He grabbed my hands and kept his eyes on me. "I love you Samantha, so fucking much. Please forgive me."

Well isn't that sweet. Ugh! I don't know what to do. My brain is saying dump his sorry ass and my heart is saying to give him a second chance, everyone makes mistakes. Trust issues, lying, cheating is all a big no-no. I really have no fucking clue on what to do. Fuck me, I'm screwed. Yet again, I know if any of my girls boyfriend did that and I found out, I would want them to dump him. She deserves better, so why ain't I taking my own advice. I felt so much pain when I found all the shit out. I don't know if I could ever forgive him for that. Especially since he knew, I've been cheated on in all my last relationships. Yes, I said all my relationships. It's sad, that all guys think about now is just sex.

Society is so fucked up. It likes to fuck with our brain.

"Please say something." He begged.

I pulled my hands out of his and covered my face. I better not fucking cry, fuck no, don't cry.

I let out a big sigh and removed my hands from my face.

"I honestly don't know what to say Alex. You put me through so much fucking crap. I felt so much pain, I felt like you threw my heart into a shredder. You made me feel so worthless, like I wasn't worthy to be with you. Do you know how much that hurts, a lot. The condom, the trust issues, lying is all to much." I looked down at my hands. "I loved you Alex, I've would of have done anything for you, you knew that. I could forgive you but I don't know if we will ever be the same." I looked back to meet his eyes staring back at mine.

"I'll change, I promise. I don't ever wanna lose you again like that Sam."

I bit my lip and looked back down at my hands.

"I'm sorry Alex, but no we can't get back together."

He stayed quiet so I looked back up to see him staring off into space, probably thinking.

I feel sad yet happy at the same time.

Happy because now I don't have to deal with his bullshit excuses and lies but sad because of all the good times we had together. I hate break-ups so much, they should be illegal.

"Let me go get your stuff from my room then, I'll be back." Alex got up from the couch and walked away.

He looked so heartbroken that he didn't even look at me.

All the sneaky sleepovers we had in his room or my room, we'll leave stuff there. Fuck, that means I have to clean out all his clothes from my closet. Fuck me. This hurts too much, I don't like this feeling. I'm actually gonna miss Alex, so fucking much. Why, why did he have to create all this drama. It'll be hard to go on in life without him on my side making me laugh, smile. We were friends for about 2 years before he asked me out. He seemed like such a nice guy with all his past relationships. He'll always come to me for girl advice or if he ever wanted someone to talk to. I was always there for him and he was always there for me. Other than Melissa, he was my other best friend.