Joe's POV
Before I had time to reply, or even take in what Caspar just said to me, he leant forward and kissed me like his life depended on it. And maybe it did.
He is smiles, sun, and rain.
He was Caspar.
And that kiss, it was..him.
If a kiss could be a person, it would him, because it was perfect. And he is perfect.
But, I'm with Troye. I can't cheat, I'm not that kind of person, I can't I can't I can't, and I won't.
I pulled away from the kiss, and the smiles, sun and rain disappeared and I was brought back to reality.
'Caspar.' I wiped his tears away with my thumb.
'Joe.' He copied.
'I'm with Troye. You know that.' I said softly.
'I know. I had to, I had to kiss you Joe and I would say I'm sorry but I'm not, I'm not sorry because that is the best feeling I've ever felt, kissing you. And I know you feel the same way, you're just too good of a person.' Caspar smiled softly, a lone year running down him cheek.
'Caspar. I-' I started. 'I felt it. I felt everything good in the world. I don't think I could carry on living my life without that feeling knowing I could of had felt it everyday if I had made the right decision.' I finished, my heart Beating so hard I thought it was going to rip out of my chest. I had made my decision.
And all it took was one kiss.
And all it took was one kiss.
'W-what are you saying?' Caspar stuttered, hope crossing his face .
'I need to be with you Caspar. Every second of the day, I want to know I can kiss you whenever I want, I just want you. ' I breathed, a smile appearing on my face.
'What about Troye?' Caspar asked.
'Ill sort it. Caspar I'm sorry I didn't realise sooner, but I'm here now. And I'm not leaving.' I said as a matter of factly, gripping his hand in mine.
'I'm happy you're here. I'm happy you're mine.' Caspar smiled, in a daze.
'Me too.' I agreed.
Because I was.
And I am.
Because he is smiles, sun and rain.
Because he is Caspar.
Caspar's POV
Happiness.
Is all I feel right now, kissing Joe and..him being MINE.
Mine.
I just..I don't even know.
My mind is blank and racing all at the same time, and I didn't even know that was possible.
I didn't know I could ever feel like this.
I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.
'Joe..can you talk to Troye now? I don't know how long I can wait to kiss you again.' I pleaded.
'Me either, okay, I'll go see him now. I just, I don't want him to hate me.' Joe said, suddenly looking nervous.
'It'll be fine, he'll understand Joe. He was your friend first and that shouldn't change.' I said, holding his hand.
'O-ok I'll go now Casp.' He smiled, released my hand and walked out.
I wish he didn't go.
I want him here with me, but I'm left, alone.
It's quiet.
I shouldn't have lied to Joe.
Troye doesn't take break ups well, it destroys him, and knowing that it'll be my fault, hurts me.
Why am I such a terrible person. It was so selfish of me to take Joe away from him, I mean, I haven't even come out yet!
