*ty Phanxattic for being fab and commenting and voting!!:* *
Caspar's POV
(Sorry everything seems to be in Caspar's POV lately)
'So I have a question..' I said to Dan who was sat across from me in the canteen.
'Okaaaaay?' Dan answered curiously.
'Why is it complicated?' I asked.
'What?' He replied.
'Earlier when Joe asked if you were gay, you should it was complicated.' I explained.
Dan looked nervous and started picking the label off of his drink bottle.
'Yeah, it is complicated. I mean, I can't tell people Caspar. I fucking hate myself ok and doing this would just make everyone think I'm a freak and hate me even more, right?' He told me, frustrated.
'Dan.' I started. 'You're not a freak, no one would hate you. You can tell me Dan, I'm obviously not going to judge!' I explained, wishing he wasn't so down on himself.
Dan's POV
Fuck.
If I tell Caspar, I'll feel exposed. Which is my biggest fear, for people to see me, to see me and not like what they see.
'Come on Dan?' Caspar pleaded.
'Okay. Okay!!' I gave in to his pleas.
What am I doing?
'Really?' Caspar grinned.
'Really.'
'Okay go ahead start wherever you want, I'm here to listen.' He smiled warmly.
'Okay..ermm so I guess I don't know. Where do I start?' I asked, my brain seemed to be panicking. It wasn't used to me telling people about myself.
'When you started hating yourself? Why? I don't know. If you're gay or what?' Caspar said trying to help.
'Right. Okay. When I was a teenager and I don't know, maybe it was the bullying, maybe it was me. I just couldn't cope with being inside my head, self harm started and that's that really.' I confessed, feeling very exposed.
'Shit Daniel. I, I just wish you knew that you're worth something, I wish you knew how great you were.' He told me.
I cringed at the compliment, I don't really know how to take a compliment if I'm honest it makes me feel so awkward because they're being nice and it's not even true.
'Dan it's true..' He said.
Was I talking out loud?
'Dan?' He said trying to get my attention. 'Carry on, what about your...sexuality?'
'Oh right yeah, so, I don't know..I mean it's confusing, am I bi? I don't know Caspar I don't know.' I confessed, biting my lip.
'So do you like girls?' Caspar asked.
'Yeah, I mean not all of them.' I laughed. 'But yeah I mean I've had girlfriends before.
'Right, and do you like boys?'
'I mean, yeah. I guess, I like..some. I don't like boys but I like..him.' I said, not making a lot of sense.
'Him?' Caspar smirked.
'What?' I asked, my heart racing.
'Who's him?' He grinned at me, raising an eyebrow.
'No one.'
'Oh really?' He said, teasing me.
'Yes.' I said smiling.
'Come on tell meeeeee?!!' He pleaded, his hands clutched to his chest for dramatic effect.
