FLYING | Sequel of FALLEN (NaNoWriMo 2022 WINNER)

2.

I had a weird feeling coming into the Wright Books building this morning.  I felt excited for release day, but I also felt scared of the unknown, what was waiting for me in the next few weeks.  At least, I had Sophie with me the whole time.  She accompanied me to the seventh floor where she now works as the receptionist and we get greeted like queens.  Lots of employees I had never met but that had worked on the design, the marketing or the printing of my book were there.  I made sure to thank everyone present personally for their implication in the realisation of my published book.  Edith was front and center with my now officially published story in her hands.  I felt immediately overwhelmed.  The writer I met in Edinburgh read it and gave her review.  It's printed on the back of the cover.  I appreciate it so much.  I also appreciated this gathering, I wasn't expecting such a greeting.

But in the midst of all this, what shook me the most was seeing Marcel again.  He seemed better, in great shape.  Although he already was, he seems in an amazing shape.  He looks lighter, freeier.  He was all smiles and I could barely look at him for more than two second straight.  It made me feel so deeply hurt and breathless.  Looking at him was like twisting a knife in my heart.  What I felt for him was truer than anything I had ever felt in my little pathetic existence.  I tried so hard to get over him, and I thought I had succeeded.  I thought I was clean when the thoughts of him haunted me less and less and memories of him didn't make me regret falling so blindly and so passionately.

It hurt all the more when Edith sat me in his office to announce to me that Marcel would be replacing her.  "Marcel will be accompanying you on your tour,"  she said simply, but it had the effect of a tsunami on me.

And just like that, she gets up and leaves the room.  I don't want to be left alone with him.  So, I follow her out and into her own office.  I can't accept this.  I can't even look at the lad, what will I do if I have to spend two entire months with him?! 

She looks at me, frowning of surprise, I don't know why, she should have expected this kind of reaction.  If I didn't have cared I wouldn't have asked her to personally accompany me! I'm not seated yet when she begins to justify herself.

"I know your history doesn't make it easy, but it comes with the job.  You both knew not to get involved.  Romance makes everything complicated, even more so in the workplace.  You both took a risk and now you have to pay the consequences."

"Edith, you don't understand. He's been so mean to me.  You don't even know what he has put me through."

"Believe me, I know.  He's told me all about it.  I wasn't proud, but I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.  And because of you and everything he did to you, Kate is gone, his husband is waiting for trial and I finally get to grieve my husband's death properly.  And on top of it all, you got me my son back."

"But--"

"I know this isn't favourable, but you'll have to deal with it.  I don't have the time to accompany you, and it will be a great learning experience for Marcel.  Stop being selfish.  He wanted to do, not only to support your work together, but to grow as an editor.  It's not always you."

And with that last comment, she dismisses me, leaving me feeling horrible about myself.  She is right, but it's a hard pill to swallow.  Sophie is the first to know about this sudden change of plan.  It infuriates me.  How can I heal and move on if we have to live together for the next two months?!  Not only we'll road trip together, but it appears we will share a room in every hotel we'll visit.  I still can't believe this is happening!

Sophie tells me everything will turn out fine and it will give us the chance to resolve unfinished business, but I don't want to.  This whole cohabitating/road tripping thing is making me bitter.  This is so not the way I expected my dream to be realised.  It's as if life is telling that I got it too easy and it had to put him as an obstacles in my way to success.  I'm feeling so overwhelmed, I feel like I'm on the verge of tears and madness.  My blood is already boiling in my veins when I hear him.