DEEP WOUNDS

14

-ROSIE-

All of us shocked on Lisa's attitude . She was once a cold person but not rude and arrogant like this one . Her eyes shows anger and disappointment and I have an idea what's going on since Jennie told me that they were good before they went home . I also knew that she was seeing Kai on the cafe' but i told her to tell Lisa but she didn't . I am seeing now a hurt Jennie who was being ignored by her love . We are now here inside of my best friend's unit , in the living room to be exact . She went to the balcony maybe to release her temper . Jennie was about to go beside her but I stopped her .

"No Jennie. Go to your unit. Bring Kai and Leo with them" they nod and went out . As soon as the door closed, I grab 2 bottles of soju inside the fridge and went to Lisa. I stood beside her and hand her the bottle as I handed mine .

"Do you know?" She asked then sip her soju .

"Know what ?" I asked her trying to figure out if this is about Jennie and Kai .

"C'mon Park Chaeyoung! I know all of you knew about this shit!" She shouted.

"Do you trust Jennie?" I asked her calmly without looking at her.

"W-what?" She sigh in disbelief .

"Do you trust me?" I repeat the question but change the name and I look at her but she look away. She didn't respond .

"I'm your bestfriend Lisa! So you think I will let other people hurt you knowing that you've had enough pain from your parents ?!" I shouted .

"I-i saw her... w-with another guy Rose'" with her crack voice that caught my attention, I look at Lisa sipping her bottle looking up to stop her eyes to tear up but still roll down her cheeks .

"I want you to trust her Lisa. Talk to her for what happened" I hold her hand and squeezed it. She wipe her face as she shake her head .

"What do you know? Just tell me!" She said authoritatively .

"I'm not in the position to tell you.. but all I know is that she really loves you" I saw Lisa shakes her head again not believing what I'm saying.

I face her but she didn't look at me .

"All you have to do is listen to that" I pointed out her chest.

"And let her know your past .. she deserves it and you deserve to heal..let her heal you Lalisa" I wipe the liquid forming on the side of my eyes . And this time she cried . I hug her and caressed her back while she was sobbing like the pain she kept years ago started to come out.

We went inside the living room and sit on the couch . While she left me to go to the restroom, I texted Jennie.

to: Jennie Mandu

"Talk with her now. It's now or never"

Before Lisa got out of the comfort room, Jennie go inside this unit . I left the unit and let Jennie and Lisa talk .

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-LISA-

Everything went fast . All that is happening now makes my heart go wild in anger and frustrations and again, this feelings brings back some memories that left me deep wounds big time . I hate this feeling ! I hate the feeling that everyone is leaving me so easy like I don't get hurt .

It took me decades to isolate myself from people . I planted wall in me . A very hard and thick wall in me . I don't want to hear people's laugh or I don't want happiness around me not until she came .

Everything is so easy easy for her . In a very negative situation , there she is .. she will see the positive in every fucked up moments . I was a messed when we met and she was so precious and that's it . I fell in love big time without her trying so hard to make me fall but from this very moment, once again, I felt betrayed .

I saw him with another guy and without explanations, the wall she once broke, started to build again in me . I may look like strong but deep inside me, I was broken again . I was left behind . And this pang inside my heart kills me more than the pain I've felt back in Thailand.

I once was cold but this time I felt like a beast wants to come out inside me . I've never been harmful before . Yes I want to kill someone since that happened 12 years ago but I never tried . But now, it feels like whoever touch me now will surely die in less than a second .

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. please hear me out" a sudden hug from my back and a sobbering brunette brought me back to reality . I hate myself when I saw her hurt like this but I can't help it .

I know I've said that whoever touch me now will surely dies but she is an exception . Yeah . I'm so in love with her even the hurt kills me now but I need to know the truth . Without looking back, I answered,

"5 minutes Jennie" I said coldly and she told me what happened . I didn't look at her when she is talking non-stop beside me . So I don't have any idea if she is telling the truth . But some part of me knew that she is the most trusted and honest person I know .

"Why didn't you tell me in the first place ?! She was your ex-boyfriend. Your harmful ex-boyfriend Jennie for fuck's sake !" I burst out !

"I didn't tell you cause I know there still something bothering you since we met Lisa . I don't want this to add to your pain. I always saw how you looked so deep that hurts me seeing you like that and I can't help cause I didn't know what's the reason behind " she cry hard .

I want to hug her and tell her it's ok but fuck ! It hurts me like hell that my body froze and I can't move .

"I want to tell you that everything will be okay but how will I say it if I didn't know where you're coming? I know it was so deep but Lisa, I am your girlfriend but I can't help you. I was feeling helpless and useless" and that caught me off guard .

My anger melt down as guilt and the pain she was having since the first day hits me hard .

I quickly trap her in my embrace while caressing her hair .

"Shhh . Love it's not like that please don't cry. I'm sorry" this time I know it is my fault . It was my fault .

"Please . Stop now . Please don't cry like this . I love you so much Jennie and I hate feeling like this way like I will lose you.. like .. you will leave me any moment seeing you with someone .. please I'm sorry.. don't leave me.." and this is the first time I cried and being true to what I feel ..this is the real side of me . I was strong . From the outside yes but definitely I was the weakest link among us .

I kneel down and hold her both hands sobbing to it . I broke down. Crying big time like a kid like the pain I have from the start come out . Yeah . Not the beast one just like I thought .