Unbuckle

Sabrina

Losing a loved one is like having the rug swept under you, we make plans for the day and not thinking twice about  how those plans can be taken away from us with a blink of an eye. I thought much about it myself until I was faced with shock and undeniable truth about the deaths that I caused at my own hands.

Remembering anything about the event that unfolded was hard to do on the day of the funerals, I didn't want to see Noah's terrified face that kept burning through at the back of my mind or the screams of Teresa's voice as my ears are placed in a quiet room full of people, I sit and wait  with my study breathing , my mother  gives me a little knock with her red hills to see if  l'd change my mind  about talking in front of a crowd about the memories and saying the goodbyes. Giving my mother no sign of communication and staring ahead on to the blue carpet she clears her voice in her throat and softly taps my hands that lays on to my lap. Mother starts walking to the front of the stands and that's when the pain deepens in my chest as his appearance is out on display; his chestnut hair is smoothed out and his skin seemed pale then I've seen it before even though they put makeup on his skin to make him look alive I could still notice.

The music  plays through the church more louder now as some people slowly get up to Noah's coffin, I haven't been holding on to my tires so I could imagine my make up running down my cheeks and giving me panda eyes but I just don't care. I feel a soft hand on my back and look to my right side where my mother has came back from the stand; her blonde hair is half up and down with thick curls through it, she looks at me with her sad glassy eyes.

"You don't have too, we will all un"

"I want to though" I interrupt her

Mother softly calls out to my father who is at the left side of me, he tells my other two brothers Tyson and Matt to keep it down as they start to fight over a  superman toy .

"Boys this is not the time for this, stop it" he separates them apart from one another, one siting to the right side of me getting the superman toy  and the other stays where father is. Mat shuffles over in his stand beside me as he pokes his tongue out. 

I sigh with embarrassment and decide to line up to see Noah in his coffin. The line is up to the door but it goes quickly before I knew it I was only third person down.

There he lays, his lips appear pink and untouched , his skin covered with makeup to cover his pale skin to show a light brown skin tone that he normally has, he is wearing a black suit with light blue shirt underneath his blazer and his eyes remain closed. I keep thinking to myself that his asleep and that he'll wake up and kiss me hello but he never dose. I don't touch him  when I place myself in front of him, his burns and cuts are covered by perfect make up that he seems like he didn't die burning or suffocating by the dragon within me.

The line goes further and that's when I see another Coffin, my best Friend Teresa, she is lined up like Noah; up on display showing her yellow summer dress. Teresa's coffin was covered by pink and peach flowers; her makeup was done like how she normally did it but her lipstick; it was red.  Teresa looked like an angel and in a way she was mine for many years through primary school and growing up together in Summer Camps. The memories flowed  through my mind as I stare at the flowers above her head, a tire breaks the spell as my tummy  goes up in a knots when I realize she's laying there. I feel like I'm going to puke but it goes away slightly when I feel a warm hand on my shoulder I turn to see Noah's  best Mate Ole in a black suit, his blue eyes seem darker as his glasses sit on the edge of his nose;  He gives me a nod with a light smile that I know he is struggling with, I don't return one back but he didn't seem to mind as Ole gives me a light squeeze on my shoulder before he lets go.

**Writers Board**
Thank you for reading, I know this chapter is sad but it gets better I promise you, please don't forget to vote and give me feedback it's very helpful. I would also like to thank AliMaldita for doing an amazing job on the book cover; ever so grateful!

I do dedications for people who have helped me through my writings, have encouraged me to keep at my stories through the years and have stuck through my writing progress. So thank you and I hope to see more who to do thank you!