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Sabrina laid up on her bed staring up at her ceiling as she couldn't get the image of Jackson's face when he saw her in the dress he had picked out for her. The way his eyes widen and his mouth slightly opened. He looked so lovestruck by her, just the way she wished Carson would look at her when the day came for him to see.
Carson has never looked at her the way that Jackson used to, or does. Carson looks at her with more lust than love, while Jackson looked at her like she was the only girl he would ever love, the only girl he'd ever have eyes for. Sometimes she wished it was Jackson that she was marrying, she was happy with Carson but sometimes she felt like he wasn't the right one for her but she'd always push it out of her trying to convince her that he was the one for her.
"What's running through your mind so late at night?" Her sister Sarah stood in the doorway as she turned the light on, Sabrina sat up waving her sister in to talk about her thoughts. Her sister closed the door and sat on the bottom of the bed. Sabrina took a deep breath before laying her head on her sister's lap.
"What's wrong?" Sarah asked brushing Sabrina's head, Sabrina sat up moving her hair out of her face. "Do you think Carson loves me?" Sabrina asked taking Sarah off guard as she realized her sister was once again having second thoughts about the wedding. She used to ask this question all the time when Jackson was gone, at the same time she'd cry over Jackson.
"He wouldn't be marrying you if he didn't don't you think?" Sarah said trying to reassure her, "What about Jackson, do you think he'll ever be okay with me being someone else's girl?" Sabrina says.
"Jackson want's you to be happy just as much as he wants to be yours. Although after the conversation he had with mom today he wants you to be happy more than anything. He's step back so you could find your happiness," Sabrina just nods, looking out the window at Jackson's house the lights were off so he was either sleep, not home, or up thinking about things.
"Sabrina can I tell you what I truly think?" Sarah asked and Sabrina nodded her head waiting for her sister to speak the truth.
"I don't want you to call of the wedding if you're truly in love with Carson but do you truly love Carson the way you say or are were you just trying to replace Jackson while he was gone?" Sarah said
"I honestly don't know, what if this wedding is just a mistake? What if I am just trying to replace Jackson, now that he's back...I don't know anymore. I think I love Carson but sometimes I find my thoughts drifting over to what could have been with Jackson, I mean today some girl was flirting with him and I got so jealous just like back in high school but this time I didn't hide it."
"You should figure this out before the wedding day Sabrina, who's your number one, who will always be your number one?"
Sabrina shook her head as the thought of Jackson came to her head. Jackson would always be her number one, he was the first boy she ever loved, as a friend then as more than that, but her timing was never right. Throughout high school he was always trying to set her with someone or going on blind dates himself he even stopped talking to her for a week. He was always pushing her away but pulling her close.
"Think about it, cause you're running out of time." Sarah says getting up to leave the room. She hit the light as she exited the room and Sabrina crashed back into her bed.
"This shouldn't be hard, I should automatically pick Jack- fuck!" Sabrina says, instead of saying Carson she said Jackson. She decided to just sleep on it and think about it tomorrow when her head was clear.
••••
"Jackson let's go Sabrina's rehearsal is today." Izzie said banging on an already ready Jackson's door. He was staring out the window hoping he'd see Sabrina and she'd wave at him like old times before they hung out or before school would start. He sighed when he realized she might have already left out. He grabbed his phone and his keys opening the door, his sister was wearing a simple flowing yellow dress and some white flats.
"I'm shocked you didn't try and show the groom up and wear a suit." She said looking over Jackson in his red Ralph Lauren button up shirt and his black skinny jeans with black dress shoes, he had a gold necklace and he even put his earrings back in. Jackson smiled knowing he could have went all out but he didn't. It wasn't about trying to win Sabrina back it was about her happiness, and plus Sabrina was never his to begin with so he couldn't win her back even if he tried.
They arrived at the small venue where the rehearsal was being held, the fist thing Jackson noticed was Sabrina, she was in the same white dress she wore when they graduated high school. They made eye contact and Sabrina quickly headed over towards him, smiling.
"Awh look at you all dressed up." She said fixing the collar on his shirt that was standing up. He smiled looking her over, the tension between the two grew stronger, "You look amazing." Jackson says without thinking. Sabrina smiled backing away from him just a bit. "Thank you, this is the same dress I wore on graduation though." She said running her hand down her dress to flatten it out. "I know, you looked amazing then too..." Sabrina smiled holding her head down to hide her blushing cheeks. "Although your hair is a bit neater this time." Jackson says trying to break the now formed ice standing between the two. Sabrina laughed nodding her head, "Jack, so glad you could make it." Carson came over making Sabrina step even further back.
Jackson smiled softly, feeling his heart tear, but at this point it was normal for him to feel this way when seeing Carson and Sabrina together, the step she took back was her taking a step back from them ever being together, Jackson needed to let go. He knew that but seeing as the wedding was coming sooner than he wanted he had to do it now. "Yeah, uh congrats. The days coming up soon," Jackson says patting Carson shoulder.
"My boy Jackson!" Carter came up behind Jackson hugging him from behind, Jackson smiled, Carter always knew how to get him out of situations that he didn't want to be apart of, most of the time without even asking. "Now that I'm here you can play my wingman, and Sabrina surely invited some pretty girls here, let make our move buddy." Carter said pulling Jackson away from the engaged couple.
"You're welcome." Carter says Jackson nodded his head as he was being dragged to the girls talking near the bar. "Now lets get you a drink and a distraction" Carter says.
The rehearsal went by smooth, hearing Sabrina say I do, hurt him but he ignored it and smiled when she looked out at him, or maybe not at him but towards him. "Move on buddy, you'll find someone and love them just as much as you loved her." Carter says patting Jackson's hand. Carter's right so Jackson decided to take his advice that day and at least try to seriously move on. He couldn't keep chasing after a girl that was no gone for good.
He had to move on, to let go, he had to find someone else to make him happy.
"Help me do that then, it's time to let go." Jackson says once the rehearsal was over and the two friends were heading out, Carter smiled and walked out with his arm round Jackson's shoulder.
