hero café | bnha

Hero Café | chapter 42

pain

pain

pain

~

"AA... AAA... AAAA!1!!!11!"

"Jesus fucking Christ..." Shinsou groans, reaching for yet another caffeine shot. There was a huge rush earlier, so he decided to be a nice person and help you at the counter. Now he's just using it for the free coffee. Bitch. "Can you not?"

You shrug, juggling a handful of teaspoons as you slump across the counter. "I dunno. Can I?"

"You kinda suck, y'know that?"

"Woah. Rude." You throw a spoon at him. It lands directly on his nose and dangles there for a hot second, before falling into his coffee. You laugh as he glares at you murderously.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Wha-" Woah, brainwashing. Guess who can't move anymore. You come to halfway through attempting to climb inside the washing machine that's in the break room for some strange reason that Arata never explained to you. Shinsou sighs in disappointment like the utter asshole he is when he sees you snapped out of it before he could shut you in there. "You know what? I am disgusted. I am revolted. I dedicate my entire life to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks I get?"

You watch Shinsou die a little inside as you make yet another vine reference, satisfied with your work. He turns around and heads back into the main room - probably to find himself some more coffee - leaving you to climb out of the washing machine all by yourself. Yeah, I see why you didn't get into the Hero department you little shit-

When you finally get back out there, he's downing caffeine shots one after another like, y'know, actual shots. You figure you probably couldn't stop him if you tried, so you give up before you even begin and go over to grab a snack from under the counter. Nobody's gonna know. Shh.

You pick out one of your favourite treats after scanning all the options, biting into it and slumping across the counter afterwards. You see Shinsou eyeing you in your periphery.

"What?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Are you good?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You looked tired."

"Yeah, why?"

"Like, more tired than on average."

"Yeah, why?"

"Dude, stop."

"Yeah, wh-" Oop, brainwashing. There - there are laws against this, right? He's violating like five of your human rights. You'd call the cops if he wasn't chill and you weren't, y'know, brainwashed. Speaking of which-

You wake up again to Shinsou whacking you on the head with his coffee mug. You rub the sore spot, glaring at him. "Aw, fuck, I can't believe you've done this."

"Then, oh my god, stop fucking lying."

"Did you just-"

"Shh." You narrowly avoid getting whacked again. Shinsou seems to give up on caring about your existence, turning away to take a sip of his coffee and check his phone. You grab the iPod and scroll through your favourites list until you find what you're looking for. Soon enough, the Blue's Clues theme song is queued up to loop for the next ten minutes or so. You go to pat yourself on the back for your stunning work, but somehow manage to get your hand stuck in your hair while doing so. You spend a solid five minutes floundering around like an idiot to try and reclaim your hand's freedom before Shinsou decides to stop being a dick and help you.

It's while surgically removing your hand from your hair that he notices something. He sharply pokes just under your jaw, making you reel back at the sudden pain. Wait - oh shid, nice! Surgery complete!

You turn to aggressively do jazz hands at Shinsou to celebrate your safe recovery, but he's just standing there frowning at you like a huge fuckin' party pooper. You raise one eyebrow at him, then the other. You're tempted to just start wiggling them but you think this is meant to be serious so you decide not to... for now.

"You have a bruise under your jaw," he says.

"Oh. Well that's not fun." You shrug and go back to queueing more of the Blue's Clues theme on the iPod.

"Where did you get it?" He continues.

"A dude tried to decapitate me during dodgeball yesterday."

"Oh." For a second, you're brainwashed, and then he's way closer, looking at the bruise again. "Are you su-"

You flick your hair into his eyes before staring at him judgementally. "Shinsou. Sun-shin. Solar Panel. Hitormisshi. Yes, I am fucking sure. This is a crackfic, why are you trying to angst?"

"Well, sorry for trying to be a nice person." He rolls his eyes, walking over to a cupboard to grab more caffeine shots. Now you're going to have to go buy more because ya boi's apparently addicted.

"A nice person wouldn't put me in a fUcKiNg wAsHiNg mAcHiNe, sHiN-"

Ten seconds later, you wake up halfway into the washing machine again.

Welp, time to strangle a hero hopeful.