Save me from myself

Chapter 2

His whole body hurt.

He laid still, keeping his eyes closed hoping that the fogginess in his brain would go away

"Where was he?"

slowly opening his eyes he realized that he was in the familiar hospital where he had first met Mori. Even though Mori was a lot less active as a doctor now that he was the boss of the Port Mafia he still kept this infirmary opened.

Dazai sat up slightly and felt a tug on his wrists. looking down he saw an IV stuck into him and... restraints...

This might complicate things slightly...

his muscles ached and his head felt as if it was about to explode.

He deserved it.

He deserved the pain. He had dishonoured himself to the mafia and he had let Chuuya see his real self. Shooting that man over and over again was not something a normal person would do. That was why he let Chuuya punch him.

It really didn't matter whether or not he came back with any injuries or not.

Because Mori was smart. He knew what Dazai had done.

Dazai knew that Mori would immediately figure out his intentions the moment he didn't return back to the Mafia with Chuuya... but, Dazai didn't care

He saved Chuuya.

It was probably the only good thing that he was ever able to do.

Of course out of all the people he could have chose to save he chose an annoying, arrogant asshole who didn't know how to do anything except beat people up.

Chuuya was also naive too. He believed that if he merely knocked Dazai out that he wouldn't be marked as a traitor. How foolish.

Though Dazai couldn't deny that he felt a sort of bond to the redhead. It was strange, the only other person who Dazai had ever felt a legitimate bond too was his Mom. He thought that after she died that he'd never meet someone that could make him smile again. Of course Chuuya was very different then his gentle mother, but when he gave Dazai that genuine smile Dazai had felt a slight warmth crawl over his body.

But

Chuuya was gone and Dazai was never going to see him again.

To gain something you must lose something. That was a lesson Dazai was taught very young.

Dazai helped gain Chuuya's freedom but he'd now never be able to see the boy again

Logically speaking he could very well meet up with the boy if he wanted too but now with Mori knowing of his traitorous behaviour he doubted he'd have much time to schedule a meeting...

Dazai just wanted to die.

His emptiness was bigger then ever and living just seemed pointless. Sure Chuuya may have been able to take away a small amount of his pain for awhile but he had been naive to think that Chuuya could ever 'save him'.

Dazai was a lost cause.

He deserved to die

He also deserved to be tortured by the Port Mafia and Mori for becoming a traitor, but he was too weak and too much of a coward to allow that to happen.

The only way to save himself from the pain was to kill himself.

This time he would make sure that he'd succeed.

Shifting his body so that he was able to sit up all the way he looked around the room for anything that might be able to free him from the restraints.