Save me from myself

Chapter 5

It had been a couple weeks since Chuuya had Saved him from killing himself. Dazai still wasn't fully healed but he was so bored of sitting around all day and doing nothing. Chuuya was a busy person so he couldn't stay with Dazai for long and the other members practically hated him so they stayed as far away as they could. Mina was ok but she didn't really interest Dazai as much as Chuuya did. Plus she was a doctor and he really didn't have very many good experiences with people in that occupation. Of course Mori was the worst doctor but other doctors that he had met (the ones who looked after him after a failed attempt) weren't very nice either and didn't seem to care at all why Dazai decided to try to end his life. He couldn't really blame them though he had tried killing himself or just 'hurt' himself many many times so they probably got bored and thought that he was seeking attention. He never was. Sometimes if his dad was having a rough patch and was excessively physical then Dazai would just do the task for him by 'accidentally' hurting himself enough so that they'd have to go to the hospital. That way he could escape his dad for awhile and just think in peace.

Honestly Chuuya was much better at taking care of people then any doctor he had ever met. He was forceful and overly caring and as much as it annoyed Dazai sometimes he couldn't help but feel a little grateful that after all he's done that the redhead still sorta cared (Dazai was still having a hard time accepting the fact that Chuuya really did care, it was so weird considering how bad of a person he was...)

People hadn't cared that much before in his life so it was a odd situation to be in. Of course it had some of its downsides. Chuuya made Dazai eat wayyy more then he wanted to; 3 meals a day with 'proper nutrients' so that he'd heal fully. Dazai really didn't eat very much and so to suddenly be eating so much made him feel quite sick. Chuuya laid off him a little bit after he vomited one night but that didn't stop him from saying that if he had eaten regularly like a normal person then this wouldn't have happened.

It wasn't like Dazai didn't eat when he was younger it was just that he ate a lot less then everyone else. That probably wasn't a good thing considering he needed his strength to heal from injuries but he never could muster up a big enough appetite to be healthy.

Shaking his head he gave up on trying to deal with himself. He was such a lost cause anyways so why did it matter if he ate enough or not.

Ugh he really was bored. Chuuya had left for a couple of days to go complete a mission but nobody would tell him what it was based around or what the goal was. If they told him he might've been able to help and gain their trust a little more. People were annoying and stupid. Did it really seem like he was gonna go back to the mafia after what they had done to him?

He was at his limit he really needed to do something, anything. His emptiness was so horrible when he just sat here being useless and he couldn't stand it anymore. Slowly he got up from the bed not caring that there still was a slight pain in his ribs and he went over to the dresser where Chuuya had put new clothes in. He was really hoping that the redhead didn't buy anything outrageous. His fashion sense was horrible to say the least. Opening the drawer he was relieved to see that the clothes were similar to the ones he usually wore though they were much more casual. He didn't hesitate to put them on and observed his appearance in the mirror. He looked deader then he really ever had before and there were bruises peaking out from his bandages all over his body. Something felt off about his look though. He suddenly remembered that he hadn't bothered to put the bandages back over his eye so he thought that maybe that's what was out of place about him. He knew that Chuuya kept extra bandages in the bathroom so he quietly snuck out and grabbed them swiftly returning back to the room. gently wrapping them around his eye he looked at himself in the mirror again and was disappointed to see that something still seemed off about his appearance.