Hopeless Romantic

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Im ngl sometimes i wanna cry
When im hurt i tend to hide
I feel insane inside
I dont wanna hurt anyone with this pain inside
Even when its fallin apart i keep it together or at least i try

I never know how to feel i swear
It might seem like idc but i care
Im always Lost in my head so i stare
I wonder if you can tell by the clothes i wear

I wear my heart on my sleeve
They can tell they can see
But they still do me dirty
All them times i spent hurting
All them times that i cried let the tears keep burning
Stomach hurting and its churning
My heart slowly becoming frozen...

Mom taught me to treat those how I wanna be treated
She didn't tell me I can't do it to those who  are conceited
So when they left me i felt defeated
Took a hard beaten
I gave my heart and they still cheated
I gave my all and they still creeping

Too genuine for most
I used to have hope
Some days i wanna go ghost
Some days i wanna smoke a O
Some days i wanna blow
Up in flames if yk yk
Some days i just wanna get up and go

Some days i wanna check
I feel like a mess
Ion like the way i dress
insecure i must confess
Not about the size of my breast
But about the way my body rests
At a point my confidence was at its best
These days its a lot less
I used to feel and look fresh
These days i be so depressed
The memories that they left
Got me down and upset
Stole my heart call it theft
Still hard to accept
But i gotta digest
Forgot we from different cloths
We dont share a mindset
Coming straight from the chest
My mind you molest
My body's a wreck
I know i can do better but I haven't yet
Thats why i be stressed
That's why i be pressed
All these feelings surpressed
Im tryna make you my next
Im tryna flex on my ex

Im tryna cuff you and up our wealth
Count it up while smoking a L
But I can't make you happy until im content with myself
I can't make you happy while im sitting in hell

I can't stand my body
I can't stand this body
Sometimes I feel like nobody in this body
I wanted to make the gym a hobby
But never followed thru so im salty
I let my own self block me
I don't think i look right for anybody
I don't think I'm wanted by anybody
Everybody has that somebody & i have nobody
Feeling like nobody
Feeling like nobody
Feeling like nobody
I feel alone in this body
I just want somebody

I keep a lot to myself bc im afraid to share
The depths of my mind that lurks in despair
Im scared to be judged by the ones for whom i care
But keeping it to myself hasn't gotten me anywhere so where do i go from here

This keeps me thinking constantly
Ive come to a self realization honestly
I haven't been taking care of myself properly
I feel low and lost but at the same time a working progress awkwardly

I want guidance but don't want to ask
I want answers but want to get them on my own
I want results fast but everything comes by patience alone
Im torn inside and i cant contain the tornado i have whirling around spreading uncontrollable emotions through my bones

Im a puzzle with many pieces
A mirror fallen to pieces
How can i pick up the pieces?
How do i piece back together?...