Sincerely, Anonymous

Fourty-Five

"hey"

"You okay?"

"Yes, sorry"

"I had my phone confiscated."

"You seem to get it taken away kinda often."

"I know."

"Everyone in my family has that 'it's because of that damn phone' mentality. It's tiring."

"My family doesn't give a shit what I'm doing as long as I'm not bothering them. In a way, phones are a blessing to them."

"They don't know what they're doing. You're worth spending every minute of a lifetime with, Amira."

"Are you.. are you saying you'd spend your whole lifetime with me?"

"I don't know. Am I?"

"You suck."

"That's not very nice to say to your friends.."

"So, L."

"What's your family situation? You know all about mine but I don't know shit about yours."

"It's complicated."

"I'd rather not talk about it, but I'll talk because I trust you, Amira"

My heart did a weird little dance in my chest.

"My mom had a disability, and we lived off of the money she got from support services."

"But my dad was an abusive asshole."

"They divorced and we couldn't keep getting the support money. My mom wanted custody of me but because of her disability, she couldn't get it"

"My dad blames his divorce on me, and brings home new women almost every night"

"My mom is still in love with him, in a sick way. It still upsets her sometimes."

"My mom gives me some of her support money to sustain myself, because my dad uses women for money"

"I guess he's like a male prostitute..anyways, he hates me. Sometimes I spend nights with friends, or with my grandma, because it's dangerous for us to be near each other."

"That's.. I.. wow."

"I'm sorry."

"No need. I'm doing alright, honestly. It's been like this for most of my life."

"Still.. that sucks. And here I was thinking you'd never understand what I was going through. I feel so entitled."

"Don't feel bad because of it, Amira. You didn't know any better. If I'd known you'd hate yourself for this, I wouldn't have said it.."

"Alright, then I won't criticize myself for it."

"And, honestly"

"I feel less alone."

"Me too."