Chapter 1- Life and Empty Feelings
Most kids after they graduate high school go to college or go straight into a pointless job. Life is supposed to go like this; you’re born then childhood and your teen years where you mess up and screw around but once the clock hits eighteen you’re mature and about to start college, after college you start your career as a doctor or a lawyer , something that will make you the big bucks. Then lastly you get married and have kids.
No where in that plan did it say get married right of high school. And to the guy that was your first boyfriend, technically.
As I see it Taylor was my first serious relationship that lasted more than a week and didn’t revolve around sex. I’ve dated my fair share of guys and trust me my share was a lot. But the longest relationship I had before was a few days to a week, tops.
I’ve been looking for something and I just haven’t found it but for some odd reason sex fills that need for me. Life is hard but for me its even harder because I’m lost and I can’t find my way out.
I used to think that Taylor was my way out but now I don’t really believe that like I used too. I still have that empty feeling like there is something more out there for me but I don’t have the strength to find it anymore.
I’m just settling is all. I’m just settling for the first thing I find and that I thought would give me a way out of my self misery. I never use to be this way, I was a happy child. I had two loving parents, I was an only child. What went wrong that I’m so messed up?
“Mer! Mer! Meredith!” Taylor said. “Its time to wake up sweetheart!” he added softly rubbing his very cold hands up and down my arm. I hated that about Taylor, he always had cold hands no matter what. And I hated that he always had to wake me up so early in the damn morning.
“Get your cold hands off of me!” I said sternly. He quickly removed his hands and apologized. “It’s alright.” I whispered sitting up and giving Taylor a kiss.
“So you excited? Its Graduation Day!” he yelled jumping on the bed. Today was the day I finally got to leave high school, but there was something I have to do first. I have to give the valedictorian speech. Because I’m the valedictorian for the class of 2012 at Seabrook High School. Yea me!
“Yeah I guess so. Are you?” I asked him scooting closer, its funny how I don’t feel like how I did when I first met him. You know, the love feeling you get when you first start seeing someone, then as you guys get closer the feeling gets stronger. It’s the opposite for me and Taylor. Maybe for Taylor the feeling is getting stronger but for me its getting weaker and weaker.
Taylor and I are both graduating today, and getting married next month. “Yeah I’m excited!” he yelled. I laughed and got out of bed walking to the bathroom to get ready for school. “Don’t forget you’re parents are coming by in half an hour!” he yelled so I could hear him.
I internally groaned at myself, my parents are great and all but sometimes they can be a bit overwhelming. Like today they’ll be the loudest ones cheering in the stands not just for me but for Taylor too. They know me and Taylor are getting married but they promised to keep it a secret.
I stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later, freshly shaven legs, clean nice smelling hair. I brushed my teeth and did my hair and make up. I put on a pair of shorts and a v-neck t-shirt, just until I had to put my dress on to go to the ceremony.
I walked down into the kitchen to see my parents standing there laughing with Taylor while he made breakfast. “Hey sweetie!” my mom said coming to give me a hug. She smelled the same, the same lavender scent I’ve smelled when she hugs me since as long as I could remember. It’s the same smell I have smelled for the longest time, sometimes it smells like poison to me because its so familiar that I can’t escape it.
