New Proxima - A Slice of Utopia

The Circuitous Road to Peace (III)

Opaline knew people could be starships. What happened to so-and-so, you'd ask, oh he's a starship now, people would say, and you wouldn't really think about it.

When you really got down to it, though, it was weird. It was weird for a person to decide to become a starship. Now she and Cujo were standing inside the command center of the ship that, only just this moment, Opaline truly conceptualized was effectively the body of her old friend Darcy. Darcy had chosen to incarnate himself as an avatar on a video screen, an image of what was effectively an idealized version of what he would have looked like as a human if he hadn't, you know, become a starship.

It was weird.

"There's no way anyone's going to overhear us now," said Darcy. "We're outside of Consensus Space. So what's your mysterious plan?"

"I already explained the gist of it: we establish electromagnetic supremacy over a world on the brink of nuclear war, put a moratorium on the use of heavy weapons, and thereby force the two sides to come to terms diplomatically. Then everyone thinks we're great and Appetent helps me get into Exigency."

"That's it? That's your whole plan after all this?"

"That's all you need. It's simple because it's elegant."

"I thought you would have something, you know, better."

"What do you care anyway, mercenary? You're only doing this because I have more rep than you now."

"That's not fair." said Darcy. He looked genuinely hurt.

"Maybe not but you gave up your right to criticize my plan when you made me jump through all those hoops to get your help," replied Opaline.

"Is any of this legal?"

"We'll be in their jurisdiction so that all depends on whether the aliens thought to codify a law against invading themselves."

"Oh..." said Darcy.

"Don't get cold feet on me now, you're supposed to be this Herculean rogue starship. This is exactly the kind of stuff you do all the time."

Darcy didn't want to admit that he mostly just ferried people around. He liked this other interpretation of himself.

"Right. You're right. I'm just keeping track. Making a note of it," he said. "So I'm assuming you already know of an alien species on the brink of nuclear war?"

"Who do you take me for?" asked Opaline. "Obviously I do. Onogo system please."

"Which planet?"

"The inhabited one."

* * *

As soon as they arrived in the Onogo system Darcy let loose a cloud of microscopic sensor drones like a fart. They quickly began to spread across the planet and deeper into the system.

"You said these people are on the brink of nuclear war, right?" asked Darcy after some of the data started coming back.

"Right," agreed Opaline. Cujo barked because he agreed too.

"How long ago was that?"

"Well right around when I first contacted you, so a little more than a standard month?"

"Yeah because it looks like we're too late."

"What?"

"It's a total nuclear wasteland down there. Classic autoannihilation."

"What?" was all Opaline could muster. Cujo nuzzled her leg to comfort her and she absentmindedly stroked his head.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, this happens to about 70% of all species once they split the atom."