Monster

Part 12

*Sarah's POV*

I've only ever killed walkers in my life. I never even imagined of killing a human. Especially someone I love,or should I say,loved. I couldn't kill Carl. As much as I hated him, I couldn't kill him.

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The group and I set up a fire in the woods and took turns being on watch. At one point,it was early morning, and Rick and I were on watch.

"Rick?" I asked softly.

"I know."

"I can't kill him. I won't, either."

He was quiet and after a long pause,he spoke again.

"If you don't want to harm him, we have to leave him."

"What do you mean? We already have."

"No,I mean leave Georgia."

I was still wondering why Rick would want to leave his own kid.

"Rick, why do you want to leave Carl? I mean I know why,but how can you? He's your son."

He stirred in his seat on the tarp and looked at me. He bowed his head ever so slightly and rubbed his temples.  He sighed and said, "I've seen things. Bad things. Awful things, things I will never be able to unsee. I learn to deal with the pain,and make room for more of it,because there will be more. A lot more."

He paused again. I had so many things to ask him, but I knew he had more to say.

"I was a cop before this all happened. One day, there was a call, and me and my partner, Shane were on patrol. We stopped the car,there were fugitives inside. We thought we had shot all of them, but there was one more in the back seat. He shot me. Right here" he said, pointing to his chest.

"Missed my heart by 3 inches. I was in a coma,and the next thing I remember, I woke up in a hospital that was overrun,and that's how I remember the apocalypse starting. I found Carl,Lori and Shane. They were on Mountain Fiji with another group of people. I asked Lori what had happened,when this all started. She said that it was chaos. She met up with Shane and found Carol, Sophia and Ed on the highway. They all stuck together. They were supposed to transport me to another hospital, because I was going to live." He paused again,choking up in his words.

"She watched them blow up Atlanta. She thought I was dead. When I found them,I, i-"

He stopped again. Half laughing half crying. I felt bad for him,really bad.

"Lori said that Carl had gotten worse after the apocalypse started. He had killed animals,and another girl in the camp."

"Sophia?" I asked.

"Yeah. And when he got shot, he got worse. And after, after, Lori, he's just beyond help and he's, unmanageable."

It was quiet between the two of us for awhile.

"Rick, where are we going to go. We can't leave Georgia."

He looked me in the eyes and said, "well. I was thinking about going back to the farm,but with all the people that died there,and all of the people we've lost. It might bring back awful memories."

That was a great idea. We should go. Even if it was overrun,its got to he cleared out now. I mean, it's been over 2 years,it should be cleared out.

"Rick we should go. I mean if has been awhile,maybe it's cleared out."

"I'll make an announcement in the morning. Now,go to sleep, you're going to need it if we're going back to the farm."

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I smiled at Rick and he smiled back. He was like the father I never had. My real father left when I was only 6. I remember he was a heavy drinker. He used to beat my mom and me. My mom had finally hit him back one day. While he was at work, we left the state. We came from Ohio and went to Georgia. Far move, right. That's because we have family, or I had family down here. And we finally felt safe for once. As I closed my eyes, I had terrible flashbacks of him. And of Ed beating Carol. One thing I was grateful for was when Shane beat the crap out if him. It's so weird not having all of the group here. I miss Lori as much as Rick missed her. She was like my other mother. I couldn't imagine what it was like when she was kidnapped.

As I closed my eyes, I heard a twig snap. I immediately opened my eyes and grabbed my knife. Rick did the same.