more than a fan- billie eilish

messages

elle's POV
——————
i finally return home and immediately go to my room. i slam the door behind me. i throw my bag onto the floor and start unpacking. first things first. if i don't do this not and go to bed instead, chances are i won't get out of bed for days and it won't get done. as i'm unpacking, i find the beat billie gave me.  i bring it to my nose and slowly inhale. i knew i didn't but i press the button on its paw. the recording plays and i hold it tightly to my chest. i put the bear on the top shelf in my closet and continue unpacking. every once in a while i find one of billie's shirts our hoodies. i put them in a box, mark it billie and put it deep in my closet. once i finish unpacking, i finally lay down and take my phone out.

4 new messages from: finn 🤪
4 new messages from: claudy 🤗
3 new messages from: alex 🙃
1 new message from: billie 🥺❤️

i open imessages and press on finneas's contact.

finn 🤪

hey.

i heard what happened

just know i love you and
i'll miss you

you're like a sister to me

i love you too finny

then i open claudia's messages

claudy 🤗

hey, i hope you're alright

i heard what happened

billie hasn't left her room ever since you left.

i love you 💕

i love you too claudy

i hope bil's  alright

check on her for me,  okay?

then alex's

hey 👋🏼

missing you 🙃

wand hang out?

about that..

i'm in england

i hesitate but then press billie's contact

william eyelash 🥺❤️

listen mamas. i'm so
so sorry. i cannot
believe i hurt you. i
know you hurt me but
i hurt myself so much
worse than you did and
that's only because i made
you cry. that's something
i never want to do again.
i'm so in love with you.
you don't even know how
much. you had every right
to do what you did. i
deserved it. please come
back. at least text me back.
please. i need you. i need
you more than i need air
to breathe. i love you elle.
so, so much. please come
back. at least consider it.
say hi to the girls for me
and text or call me. and if you
choose not to, i swear to god
i will come to england, show
up at your door and stay until
you do. i just need to hear your
voice and be with you. please.
i'm sorry mamas. i really am. so,
so sorry. i love you.

i'll consider it.

and i love you too.

i may be mad, but i'm
NEVER going to stop
loving you. you're my 
wife so i'm not aloud to
stop loving you and you're
not getting rid of me. you're
stuck with me. we're in this
together. 

you and i. 

always and forever.

i set my phone down for a few minutes until i hear it buzz. i see a notification from billie and open it immediately. 

william eyelash 🥺❤️

always and forever.

i let out a deep sigh and hide my face in my pillow. i grab my phone from my bedside table and debate on whether or not to call billie. we always fall asleep together. i twiddle my thumbs in front of the call button but turn off my phone and put it on my table. i close my eyes even though tears fill them and fall asleep.