The Darkest Star

Chapter 18: Andromeda Walburga Black

          I stood looking out at the sky, a glance at my black family watch told me it was 2:35, I looked at the old tattered note one last time.

          dearest Fred, 

I can no longer stay here with you as a burden, I have nothing left here for me. so I must leave, you were my only true love. I wish you to move on from me and live your life. you made me realize that I was not put here to end the world but to meet you, you changed me for the better.

            Andromeda.

         Father, 

I have no point of staying here when you and the rest of our family I care about find me a disgrace. I have no will or reason to continue to push through this half a life I live. I hope you know, I regret what I did. I realize now that I never actually wanted this, any of this.

          your loving daughter, Andromeda.

          I pulled out my lighter, out of my leather jacket pocket. flipping it open I set the letter aflame, the ashes swirling around in the cool winter air. I let go of the last piece watching the small remains be devoured in the flames. I let out a long sigh, sliding down the wall. a single tear leaked from my eye I'm just so tired of having to be so strong for so long, having to put up these walls to protect myself. no one knows who I truly am nor would they understand me, I am a rude insolent person, the things I say in my head are even worse than the things I say out loud. had I ever decided to truly be myself, I would be dead by now, whether it is by my hand or someone else's. so I hide, sure I let some parts show, but I can never be or say what I truly feel. although it's slowly crushing me. most days I feel like the world is collapsing around me and there is no one left to save me. I quickly wiped the tears and mascara off my face, jumping up and running down the stairs, tripping on my heels and dress I fell down the stairs, I stood up wincing as a sharp pain rose in my leg, I bent my head to the side, cracking my neck and ran. my feet barely touching the ground as I ran down the halls. once I had reached the common room, I looked around the corner to see Ly and Draco walking towards me and the common room.

          "shit, shit, shit, shit, motherfucking bloody shit" I was turning around on the spot in a panic looking for a place to hide. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I stiffened turning slowly on my heel. 

          "heyyyyyyyyyy, Ly, Draco! my dearest cousins, I was just um, going to my room, and I uh" I ran, sprinting through the portrait only to be stopped mid-air and turned around, I looked to find Ly and Draco stood both of them had a smug look on their faces. Ly had her wand raised

           "stupid, homosexual power, bloody cousins, bugger. fucking charms stupid intellect" I crossed my arms, still hovering in the air, I pouted frustrated. she tried to hold a straight face but eventually ended up letting out a loud snicker. I scowled at her, flipping her off.

          "Lyra-Bella Casseopia Malfoy put me the fuck down" she laughed walking over to me, she extended her arms

          "no, no not bloody likely" she wrapped her arms around me hugging me. I attempted to squirm out of her grasp I let out a small shriek,

          "let! go!" she let go, letting out a satisfied smile

          "I finally fucking hugged you" 

          "fuck off" 

          "awww you know you love me!" she said tapping me on the nose, entering the common room, using her wand to drop me. I fell on the ground. wincing as I stood on my sprained ankle. I brushed off my dress, fixing my hair and I wrapped my hands around my ankle, moving it so it ever so subtly popped back into place. I walked away, no longer trying to look confident, my shoulders slumped and I shuffled my feet. I entered the dorm and started getting ready, I had to go to this stupid party tonight. 

(shoes and dress^)

          I curled my black hair which had grown a little now to my collarbone, I still had my bangs. I grabbed a small black bag popping on a burgundy matte lipstick to match my dress  it's times like this where I'm happy for my family, that I'm not poor like those filthy Weasleys. I scoffed. I had planned to go alone on accord as there is no one here I want to go with, they would just make it even more dreadful. so I walked alone to the party. after a while of standing around and ATTEMPTING to only associate with the higher class wizards, that filthy squib came in with, Draco?! what kind of shit did he get into now *facepalm* 

          "professor, I caught this one sneaking around the halls, claims he was invited" everyone started talking rather loudly, can they not shut the fuck up for one absurd second!?

          "he's with me," I said stepping forward, rolling my eyes subtly. Draco ripped his arm out of the filth's grasp, glowering. 

         "b-but isn't he your cousin!"

          "Wow, fantastic observation, no one said I had to take a romantic date, they said I had a plus one." I gestured to Draco widely than myself, "plus one." I walked away with Draco and said a little more quietly while passing him, "it's no wonder your a squib" he hung his head shamefully. we walked out Severus behind us. 

~~~~

          "I took an unbreakable vow! to protect you!" 

          "I don't need your help!" I raised my eyebrows smirking, I had my foot propped on the wall behind me and my arms crossed. 

          "And you, what have you done? sat around and moped" he whirled on me, I stood up at the same height as him looking him dead in the eyes.

          "that's more than you've ever accomplished" he gaped at me, I rolled my eyes shoulder checking him and walking away back to my room for the night.