The Darkest Star

Chapter 28: Andromeda Walburga Black

          I stood in my bathroom quickly swiping on dark liquid eyeliner and matching lipstick, grabbing my lightest pair of boots and gloves. 

          I also grabbed my familiar leather jacket that smelt vaguely of cologne and dog, but foremost smelt of blood and faint vanilla perfume. I strode through the hallways avoiding being seen by any of the death eaters. I stood in front of ly's door, slipped on my gloves letting them snap slightly before entering. being sure to walk on my toes so my heels didn't quite meet the floor. I worked quickly grabbing the first leather book I saw labelled 'charms' I flipped through the pages and found the spell I was looking for. I turned to the fireplace, the embers slightly burning still. I flicked my wand slightly and the flames roared back to life. books and papers started to reform, the items started to remove themselves from the flames. 

          I looked at the pile, with curiousity. muggle books a stack of photos, and a weird book with a random gold symbol on it. I started with the books, I read the titles and quickly flipped through the pages, carry on and the red white and royal blue were the first two and only ones I could bear to look at it was so weird the way muggles wrote with their slow minds so set on making everything romanticized. it was disgusting, but part of me has always longed for someone to truly understand me, someone I can be myself with. nevermind just fuck off.

         I shook my head and retreated to the photos next, the first ones were of D, Ly and I, either at Hogsmeade or around the castle. as I neared the back of the pile there was a new girl, pink hair, no brown, green? either she died her hair often or she was a Metamorphmagus. she always either wore a Hufflepuff scarf or tie, since when had Ly become friends with a Hufflepuff girl!? I snarled at the girl's all-too-happy face. I continued to file through the photos until I came to the last one, I stared in shock at the image of Lyra-Bella kissing a girl, a Hufflepuff no less! I ripped the photo in half, how could she have not told me! I thought she was my best friend. I angrily moved on to the last object, the book with the gold symbol. I flipped through what appeared to be a journal. I read a couple of the entries hastily,

Fifth-year, February 21st 

          Jaiden gave me a new book today, a muggle one. I just wish I could be open about our relationship but I would be killed by several members of my family. Especially my father. I have many suspicions that he is the reason Draco started cutting himself. I'm fairly sure our father is abusing him. I think it'll keep getting worse until we both become death eaters, but even then he won't be happy. Everything in me urges to not be so weak and fight against them but I can't. I've been grasping at straws to find some control. Jaiden asked me yet again to talk to Potter and Ginger. Some tiny piece of me wants to but I know I can't and also most of me is repulsed by the thought of even talking to them.  Andy is becoming more and more distant, I've no idea as to why. I wonder if it has something to do with being a death eater or being with that Weasley boy. Or possibly because, even though none of us want to remember or think about it, her suicide attempt last year. 

          I flipped a couple more pages and found more pictures of her and this Jaden girl, how could he not have told me she was A) dating someone B) it was another Hufflepuff C) she's a fucking homosexual! I have nothing against that but she didn't tell me! I threw one of the books, carry on, into the fire again then returned to the journal. 

           Sixth-year, April 12st

          I talked with Ginger, Potter, and Granger today, per Jaden's persistence. It wasn't terrible, one might say I even sort of enjoyed it. I wish I could be friends with them, even the Granger girl is better than we give her credit for. Bella and the Dark Lord are pressuring us more day by day, it takes all of me to hide the hate I have for them. It's especially hard being not only related to most of them but also constantly living in a room with one.

          I flipped the pages again.

          Summer After Sixth-Year 

          I didn't eat again today. I feel absurdly sick but it brings me some sort of sick satisfaction. I like having control over something, I think this is why Andy craves power. I tried sending a letter to Harry but Jet has been unable to find him, I'm surprisingly worried over his safety. Yesterday Draco came to me utterly distressed like I thought although we comply with everything our father asks of us he continues to abuse and hate on us, more so Draco physically. 

          I stopped there I couldn't take this anymore, all the lies she told me. I grabbed all the books and letters and stormed out of the room. once I had returned to my room I grabbed 25 different knives and went on a rampage throwing them everywhere and anywhere they would stay. the door, the floors, the walls. slicing pieces of the wood off, anything I could to stop the anger from turning towards myself. Bella walked in her usual angry self. she took one look at me and the room, rolling her eyes she flicked her wand the room slowly was restored to its original state.

          "what do you think you're doing!" I shrugged

          "don't know, don't care frankly," I said blandly. she grabbed me by the arm pulling me through the halls to the living room where a boy was cowering 

          "kill him," she said she was about to scream at me when I stabbed him a blank expression. he doubled over and I slit his throat. 

          "good," she said satisfied. I shrugged

          "eh, could've been better" I walked away from her not waiting for an answer.  absolutely exhausted but of course, my fucked up sleep schedule, clear from my eyes, which have bruises surrounding them, would never allow me to properly rest. so I layed on my balcony staring at the bright stars and constellations. they kept retreating back to the all too familiar setting, Orion, standing out like the nose on the face. the two stars were the center of my attention. I missed them sometimes but I have never allowed myself to. when I started to see the sun on the horizon I went inside, grabbing the framed photo of Fred and I. suddenly my eyes started to flutter and I dropped the photo. It shattered on the floor as I fell. lying in defeat as the black spots of my vision took over.