are you broken? so am i. (Strangefrost story)

IV

December 24th, morning. After months of hard work, the team had finally time for themselves. They decided it would be nice to make the compound a bit more Christmasy. They invited Guardians, Thor and Valkyrie and shared out the tasks to enjoy the day off as much as possible, together, without fighting and being afraid of not surviving another day.

Sam called everyone into the living room to tell them who would do what. "There is the list. So Bucky, Sharon and I are cooking the dinner and preparing Christmas sweets, Rhodey and Nebula are packing all the gifts, Strange, Loki and Wanda are decorating the whole building, Thor and Valkyrie could prepare Christmas punch, please don't drink it before we get a chance to taste it, and Spidey, Rocket and Groot are getting Christmas tree ready and you Quill, try not to get in the way, please. Any questions?"

Loki raised his hand, obviously annoyed: "Why do I have to be with the sparking oaf again? Couldn't I help somewhere else? I think I would be very useful as the no-getting-in-the-way person." All chuckled at his joke, except Strange who pretended being offended. "You, Wanda and the sparkling oaf as you call him are the only sorcerers in the house and it's not gonna take you much time to decorate the building when you can use the magic," Sam answered, then winked and added: "You should get used to him exactly for this reason." "Fine," Loki scoffed, mentally preparing himself for a hell day.

His exception wasn't wrong. There was no way the two would agree on anything. First, it was an hour of arguing who will decorate which room, then what colour of decorations they want to use. When they finally agreed on one thing there were ten others they argued about. Wanda was tired of the two useless idiots and went to decorate the exterior of the building, calming herself with her favourite Christmas songs. However, an unpleasant surprise waited for her as she came back to see how the two were doing.

The house was a mess. One tried to decorate it as he wanted, the other ruining it a moment later. "Black and gold is elegant and stylish, a perfect match to the green tree. But how could someone like you without any taste possibly know?" The god shouted, the sorcerer not hesitating to react: "Black and gold? Are you serious? It's Christmas, you idiot, not a funeral. Red and blue are perfect." "It will soon turn into your funeral if you don't shut up." They were arguing again. Wanda was patient the whole time but this was simply too much even for her. "Get the fuck out of here! Both of you! Are you so mean? One day, one bloody day. Stop ruining it to all of us!"

The two stormed out of the room, heading to their rooms, angry and Wanda got everything done herself. The day passed quickly, all being occupied by their tasks. Despite Bucky almost burning down the kitchen, by the dinner time, everything was ready, nicely prepared. The team gathered for dinner, all enjoying themselves, Strange and Loki avoiding each other. When they finished the meal, it was time for gifts. They decided it's not necessary to wait until the morning, after all, they're not kids anymore. All were chatting, drinking and enjoying the gifts. However, Loki left as soon as the gifts were received, not feeling very merry.

It was quite late when Stephen decided to go for a short walk, not caring about the destination, just wandering absentmindedly through the city, suddenly appearing in front of the graveyard, where Tony's body was buried. Stephen walked through the graveyard when he spotted someone kneeling by Tony's grave, soon realising it's Loki, sobbing. When Strange came closer, he heard Loki talking to Tony. "Hello, Stark, I came to wish you Merry Christmas." His voice was shaking. "I know I'm late. I'm sorry for New York. I didn't want to do all the things I did. Please, say you trust me. *sob* I'll never get a chance to thank you enough for what you did for the world, what you did for me when you sacrificed yourself. I would never be free from him without you."

Strange was standing there, shocked by Loki's words, not able to move. Loki seemed that he didn't notice Strange's presence, letting his guards off and the sorcerer knew it. He sank into god's mind, witnessing all the torture he kept in the memory, reading his feelings like a book, the anxiety, depression, loneliness, blaming, fear, uncertainty, everything. A single tear ran down Stephen's cheek, realising how mean and rude he was to Loki, he felt really bad. "It's rude to read someone's mind without invitation. The great sorcerer as you are should know it. Are you here to laugh at me? Please do your best, I don't care." Loki spoke up after a while, still staring at Tony's gravestone. "I... I... just" Strange wasn't able to produce a sentence. "I know. You just wanted to make sure I'm not lying. Are you satisfied now?" With those words Loki stood up, turning around to look Strange into the eyes.

Stephen didn't know what to say, he wanted to comfort the god somehow, realising how alone he had to feel the whole time. He made a step towards Loki, doubtfully hugging him. After a moment of hesitation, Loki relaxed too and hid his head in the crook of Strange's neck. "I miss him so much." "I had no idea." Loki chuckled and mumbled: "If you ever tell anyone, a single soul, what you saw today, I swear I'll kill you." Strange smirked at Loki's threat: "Oh, so we keep each other's secrets now. What's next? Sleepover, movie nights, gossiping and nail painting?" "Stop laughing at me, you moron. I'm being serious." "So am I. How about to start with coffee? Or maybe something stronger?"