𝗠𝗬 𝗥. ✔

8

♢HITOMI♢

all the things that i had saw, makes me believe that no one would ever stay here for me, like, i'm hopeless, there is no one who would never disappear, worst, they make me look like i'm delusional, like i'm sick or what.
i told myself never do that again, but what? i would never even bother trying, it's hard, it's hard to keep watching them suffer.

now, i couldn't promise i would not be bumping into another suicidal or depressed girl, not ever, yesterday, senior kwon just disappeared, i never bothered looking for her, why? what for? because she'll never comeback i'm sure.

depression sure makes you delusional or something like that.

skipping class, that's what i'm doing now, well who cares? not even this school does.

everything our principal said was a lie, no bullying? clean reputation? no depressed? nice behaviour? those were lies, i was sent here because of those, i'm sure next week my parents will go and decide to bring me to the dorms, i hate it.

i knew that day will come, they could even do it now, as in, right now.

they just hate me.

"oh hitomi! saw you, our principal is looking for you!" a rather soft voice called out to me, looking back, i saw yiren running towards me with a smile.

i knew it.

"fine." saying that while wearing a fake smile never seem unfamiliar for me, as it lasts, it starts to feel good and it ends up as my habit.

badly, i want to stop, it sounded like an addiction, but can you blame me? almost everyone here owns those fake smiles.

i passed yiren, walking down the halls, my face turning into a complete heavy frown as i turn my back to yiren who i knew was staring at my back with a confuse look. she seems so nice that it annoys me a lot, no one deserves someone like her, not me.

i pass through those people with a normal look on my face, my eyes feeling heavy or watery, i knew what was gonna happen, i knew it.

facing the door of the principal office, i breath heavily, my eyes blank, no way i could even like what was next to happen, i put my hand on the cold doorknob, twisting it open and seeing my parents sitting beside each other in the chairs.

i stood up there, while they stare at me, i could feel that lingering look on my father, his smile looks fake, i hate it, i can't even look at it.

that sparkle in my mom's eyes were gone, i no longer felt significant at all.

i never was.

"goodmorning." i mumbled, my head hung low, my bangs covering my eyes.

"oh, mr. honda, your parents had choose to bring you to the dorms for one year as they will have to be focused for their work, your things are in your room now, don't worry your roommates are nice, your room is in 34." he stated, with his usual toxic voice that spits out lies all the time, i hate his guts.

"yes sir." i mumbled, my parents can't even speak, they don't care anymore.

i headed out, almost slamming the door, leaning in the door, my eyes feeling watery, of course i immediately wiped it out, i looked pathetic.

i stood up straight, walking away and making my through the halls, seeing it finally empty but full of bullies, i know sounds great right? i surely will learn a lot in this school.

i got out of the building, heading to the girls' dorms in the school's property too, there were kids everywhere, girls at the same time, i hate how i can already feel the dullness here, it creeps me out i feel like i could never sleep in this kind of dorm.

the walk was finished, i reached the room and saw my bags and luggage, there are three beds, big enough, but i hate it.

"hey there roommate," i turn around to look for the voice and saw a small girl with braided hair, kokoro.

"hey." i looked at her with a weird smile and hear her gasps, walking backwards.

"oh no! honda hitomi! the famous cheerleader!" she yelled, holding to her chest as if she had a heart attack, kneeling down.

"no! please! don't tell me you're going to bully me!" kokoro looked up at me while biting her lips.

"i won't."

"huh?" she mumbled and slowly stood up, taking her hands out of her chest, and looked at me with confusion.

"i said, i won't bully you." i stated and put my bag on my bed.

"oh sorry." kokoro beamed at me and scratched her nape.

"kokoro!" a voiced yelled as a girl with brown hair and glasses entered, seeing me as she stopped and step back.

"oh, our roommate?" she mumbled, looking startled.

"oh no jiwon! she's nice!" kokoro told jiwon, nudging jiwon.

"oh, well, please enjoy your stay here! even if this place looks trashy!"

i wish i would.