love & regrets❤️

chapter 18, regret

everything felt like it was in slow motion after that, he fell to the ground dead i had shot him in the head which killed him right away and after i felt remorse even though he killed my parents, hurt the boy i love, and attacked me. I stood there for a second while alessio looked at me and the body in horror and so many thoughts were going through my head i couldn't i just couldn't i just stood there and i started to feel light headed and i couldn't stand anymore so i fell down and everything went black for a long time. I woke up again in the hospital and no one was there i started to feel empty i at least thought alessio would be there even though i killed someone i thought he would always be there for me no matter what and the fact that he wasn't there where i needed him the most hurt so bad i couldn't breathe. I went back to bed so i wouldn't have to think about what happened and so i could just relax and the pain all over my body wouldn't hurt as much, but as soon as i closed my eyes everything just happened again it started with my parents getting killed and then me getting abused to me running away to me meeting alessio and me killing that guy all in one dream but that's the thing everytime i closed my eyes i would get snipits if what happened and it was making me go crazy and i couldn't handle it without alessio, i need him more than ever. It has been a couple days and the doctors said i will be able to leave soon, i haven't really talked to anyone and the quietness is killing me in a way and it is awful i just wish i could have a normal life, none of this would be happening but the only downside to that is that i would have never met alessio and that is the only reason i'm alive now, he is the only reason i am and i'm thankful everyday for that and i need him right now and i miss him more than anything. I got out of the hospital and the first thing i did was look for him but that was after i called and texted his phone like 4 million times, i would go to his house but his mom doesn't really like me and his sister would be at school so i just went back to my place and hopped he was there waiting for me, but he wasn't so i just went to my favorite place to eat, taco bell.