Chapter 12 : Family night

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Lewis's prov:

The day went very slowly but  we were finally in the locker  room after practice no one was here except Liam and I

I could tell Liam was growing more and more concerned through out the day but I just tried to ignore it

Because I'm fine really He doesn't need to worry about me

It's just I can't get this feeling out of my head that there's a serious reason Nolan's not here and it's weird as I've only known him for what not even a day like and hour or so

But I just can't get the feeling out of my head and it's starting to give a headache the more I think about everything

It's just that day the That day m-my my m-mum.....it just felt weird like I knew something was going to happen but I ignored it I-I can't I just can't ignore this feeling it's just like when-when

I groan as I lean my head against the cool locker room wall

"Hey I know you won't talk about it but you can't just push it back Lewis it will just hurt you more" Liam says siting down on the bench next to me

"I know I know it's just......hard" tears started to appear in my eyes I try to blink them away but I doesn't work

God damn it !!!

"No I just can't deal-"I try to say but a tear falls down my face

I put my head in my hands trying to stop the tears but it's not working !!!

This can't be fucking happening here !!!

My breathing began to get shallow it feels like every breath I take in it keeps getting harder like my throat is closing in on me

no! No! NO!

Not here please not in front of Liam !!

My vision goes blurry and I try to grip onto the wall but

My breathing starts to sky rocket even more and I stumble and fall onto the cold tiling

"L-Liam" I barely stutter  too breathless to try and stop it 

Liam immediately gets onto his knees besides me

"Come on Lewis you have to calm down" Liam says in a soft voice

"I c-c-Can't !" I say but everything is so fuzzing I can't hear anything properly enough it feels like someone has there hands blocking my ears,pressing harder and harder against my head causing my head the explode in agony

"Lewis your going to have to slow your breathing down breath with me!" Liam shouts grabbing my hand gently and places it on his chest

"Come on breath in..... and out" Liam says as I feel his chest go up and down "concentrate on my breathing okay" i nod my head and close my eyes  focusing  on his breathing

But I can't stop the picture coming into my head I let out a loud painful sob trying to concentrate on Liam but I can't hear anything it's all fuzzy and this pain full buzz fills my ears

I immediately cover my ears digging my nails deep into my skin

"I-i i-I c-can't i-it h-hurts l-Liam" I sob as I squeeze my eyes  shut trying to ease the pain from the bright lights

"Lewis you have to focus okay come on you can do this here let's try again it's alright" Liam says in a soft tone shuffling closer to me and  grabbing my hand again and put it on his chest

I tried I swear but I just couldn't stop her from coming into my mind and more tears slipped out my eyes

"Hey hey come here look at me Lewis focus on me okay now breath in and out"Liam urging me on with caring eyes 

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