TEXT | Felix Fanfic

#35: Confession

I left the bathroom after a few minutes of processing what had just happened. I knew it was a mistake and that he probably was just in the heat of the moment, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

A huge part of me was embarrassed, how am I going to face Felix, let along talk to him, after this. But another part of me was happy that I got to kiss him, even if it meant nothing to him

I completely avoided Felix, feeling too scared to see his reaction towards me, what if he's avoiding me as well? I don't want to know that.

"Hey Rose, are you ok? You took too long in the bathroom" Minho was throwing away some trash when he came up to me and asked if I was ok, his voice showing concern

"I'm fine, just a little bit tired. I think I'm gonna go back to my hotel room" I said putting on my best 'im tired' act.

"I'll walk you back, I have to go back to my room too" Minho suggested and despite me telling him that he doesn't have to, he kept insisting

We bid good night to the other members and I locked eyes with Felix for one moment. I was right, he was completely avoiding me. I sighed closing the door behind me and following up to Minho, who already had a head start.

There was silence everywhere as it was almost midnight. I was too clouded in my thoughts to initiate any conversation and Minho was pretty tired himself so that's why we made a non-spoken agreement on walking in silence.

"What happened there with Felix in the bathroom?" Minho spoke after a while of silence

I looked at him in shock not expecting him to know about Felix following after me, as he was too busy being loud with the other members to notice.

"I know he followed after you to apologize for that little act of his in front of Jisung" he continued

"nothing really, he just apologized for being inappropriate" I shrugged off his concern but he was still not having it

"I know that you like Felix..." he let out a suffocating sigh  "and I also know that Felix is a complete moron that doesn't know how to show emotions"

"Whatever you two did in that bathroom,  just know he actually meant it. He was just acting weird because he doesn't know that you also like him back" Minho looked at me with a smile on his face

His smile didn't look genuine, he looked as if he was smiling through sadness. I wanted to ask him what's wrong but I figured it was just because he was tired.

Other than that, Minho's words made so much sense to me that I wanted to believe them. Maybe he does like me and that's why he's avoiding me.

So I smiled back and we continued walking again in complete silence.

Minho's concern towards me made me realize how much I take him for granted. I always mention Felix always being there for me but never mention how much Minho had helped me.

He was there in ways I couldn't see. like when he asked if I'm ok earlier, he knew something was wrong just by my expressions. It's little things like these that I need to appreciate more about the people around me.

"Minho," I stopped in my tracks finally getting the courage to do what I said I would

"yeah?" He as well halted his walk, looking at me with confusion

I shifted a bit not knowing how to exactly show my gratitude towards him.

"Thank you for being my best friend," I said giving him a tight hug

I wanted to say I appreciate you for being there for me, I don't take you for granted, you're an amazing person, but that was all I could think of doing at the moment

"You're welcome," he chuckled uneasily as he as well hugged me back in a weird manner

"actually Rose, there's something I want to tell you" he pulled away from the hug and cleared his throat

"I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise me we'll stay as friends no matter what," he said in a serious tone

"Promise me' he repeated louder, suddenly holding both my hands whilst staring  into my eyes

I nodded my head repeatedly, his voice tone making me jump a little. My heart was pounding against my chest as I waited for him to speak, something about the way he was acting made me feel uneasy

"I like you"

These three words dropped on me like hard rocks. I opened my mouth to say something but I didn't know what to say.

"Minho I..."

"It's fine I don't expect you to return my feelings, I just ought to let you know" he flashed the same painful smile he gave me earlier before he started walking.

I liked Minho but not enough to give him the love he deserved, as we've established before, I wasn't the best with appreciating his love. He deserves a person that would love him with all their heart and I was far from that, my heart already belonged to someone and that someone was Felix

I wanted to go after him, but my feet felt stuck. 

Maybe this is why He and Felix hated each other, it was all over me. I was embarrassed, I was probably the cause of two best friends' downfall.

"Rose," I heard Minho voice calling for me from a little distance

"don't stress yourself over it, it's ok I'm not hurt"

I looked up at him and he was still smiling as if he wasn't just rejected. I felt bad, really bad, but what could I do? I was really helpless.

I decided to just ignore what he said and act as if nothing happened. Minho wanted us to stay friends anyway, so what's the harm in pretending nothing happened.

Minho and I made it to my hotel room after a really, uncomfortably, silent walk. I got out my room card and swept it under the scanner to open the door, before turning around to face Minho. I eyed him wanting to tell him that I'm sorry but once I opened my mouth to speak,  no words came out.

Minho looked anticipated waiting for me to say anything, only for him to be disappointed with my lack of response. He flashed one last painful smile before he walked away. I mentally scolded myself for not, at least, apologizing to him.

I closed the door behind me as I stepped inside the room and slopping down on my bed. I let out a loud sigh that turned into a groan. "stupid, stupid, stupid" I chanted to myself while, lightly, slapping my face. 

I got myself ready for bed even though I knew, I was probably getting no sleep due to overthinking.