Treadmill

X.I

I was never one to hook up with people.

I'm just prefacing this next part of my life in that way. I didn't hook up with guys. I didn't even kiss guys I wasn't dating. It just wasn't in my nature, and honestly, the opportunity never provided itself. I didn't go to parties, so how was I supposed to even find people to hook up with? Stare at guys in the library until they got the hint?

I guess I'm saying this because I don't want to be judged. But then again, why do we even judge women for hooking up with guys? Why was that the first thing I thought of before writing about this next part in my life? Being judged? You wouldn't care if a man hooked up with a bunch of girls in college, but I can bet money if I didn't preface this like that, at least 34% of you would judge me. I pulled that statistic out of my ass, but still.

Then again, it's not like anyone is actually going to read this.

But anyways. Back to the point.

I wasn't usually one to hook up with people. I was a good girl. Did I already say that? Regardless, it's true. I had never done anything even remotely scandalous in my life before meeting Kennedy Abrams. She was this new person with a completely different life that I was absolutely dying to be a part of. I wanted to be like her in every sense of the word. So I tried to act like her. Starting with the things I began doing to make Kennedy feel like she could count me as one of her crew. One of the people she could joke around with and relate to about everything she did.

There were so many things I had to change to do that. I had to start drinking. I had to be okay with smoking pot every now and then. I had to do things that I'm not particularly proud of. And I use the word 'had' incredibly loosely, mind you. I was the only one forcing myself to do these things. But I was doing them because all I wanted was to be a part of Kennedy's glamorous world of parties and boys and sex.

So I also hooked up with people. And this was just a really long way of saying that I don't want to be judged for that.

It started at the 'Drew-Parley-advertisement' party.

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8:32 PM.

Rebecca had become a bit better at being fashionably late to Kennedy's events, despite her persisting desire to be there right at 8:00. But the reason for her desire for punctuality was twofold this time: she wanted to be around Kennedy, per usual. But she also wanted to make sure she didn't miss Kennedy saying anything potentially harmful about the new Instagram account. She didn't trust Kennedy's ability to be subtle about something she was so obviously excited about.

But she showed up thirty-two minutes late anyways, Celeste and Spencer by her side with Kaylie and Jamie trailing along behind the three friends, looking around as if they weren't sure whether or not they belonged.

For the record, they didn't. But Rebecca knew that she didn't either. So it wasn't her place to judge her roommates being there. She had invited them, after all.

"Rebecca!" Kennedy walked up to the group and gave Rebecca a huge hug as she did, looking at the people around her curiously. "I remember you two from last week, but who are you?" She asked, gesturing towards Celeste and Spencer with her first comment and Kaylie and Jamie with her last question.

"Kaylie Ernest." Kaylie introduced herself immediately, pushing in between Rebecca and Celeste to be in the front of the group, directly in front of Kennedy. "It's so nice to finally meet you, I have always felt like we would be amazing friends."