W H Y?《Umbrella Academy》

No. 11

(Trigger warning: Suicide)

-15 years ago-

"They're these terrors, and it's like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat. They're these terrors and it's like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat."

It had been a week, a week since Ben died, and a week since anyone had heard from or seen James Hargreeves. Luther opted to bring food to him, but all the siblings knew it was no use to bring their brother any food, Luther took the bowl of oatmeal upstairs and walked down the hallway to where the dark oak door with 'No. 0' was written. He placed the bowl on the floor and knocked twice on the door before he retreated downstairs again. He sat at the table with his siblings and luckily their father was gone for the next two months on a trip, so while Pogo gave them their duties, they had more free time and weren't forced to maintain their assignments. "Master Luther, Master James didn't answer the door did he?" Pogo asked. Luther shook his head and resumed eating. "Well, I know he's not dead," Klaus said remembering he hadn't seen the teen as a ghost at all. Everyone brushed him off and went and did their own thing but Diego walked up to Klaus, "Let's go check on him." Number 4 nodded and they went to the room in-between their rooms.

"Like last night, uh, they're not like tremors, they're worse than tremors they're, they're these terrors. Like last night, uh, they're not like tremors, they're worse than tremors they're, they're these terrors."

The bowl of oatmeal that Luther put in front of the door was gone, but there was no sign of James. The brothers knocked on the door and didn't hear anything for a second before there was shuffling on the other side of the door. "James? It's Klaus and Diego. Can you let us in?" Diego asked the door remained closed but a slip of paper was slid under the crack in the door. Diego bent down and looked at it, in a half print and half cursive, a small "No." was written. "Then, can I come in? Just me, nobody else?" Klaus offered and the door creaked open, James shakily stood there, he looked deathly pale, and the only light in his room was the small desk lamp turned on in the corner of the room. Klaus stepped into the room, nodded at Diego, and shut the door locking it behind him. 

"And it's like it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing and it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat"

James sat back down at his desk, and Klaus looked around the once clean room, papers and pencils were thrown everywhere. Klaus noticed the small litter bin by the desk was overflowing with crumpled-up pieces of paper. Several empty pen tubes were also in the can, James shut the notebook he was writing in and grabbed another out of a drawer. "James?" Klaus called out, the white-haired male looked at him, "James, come here." James shook his head and turned back to his writing, Klaus sighed and the teen walked over to the desk. He wrapped his arms over James's shoulders and leaned down, "Come on love, stop writing for a bit okay? You haven't left your room in a week, come lay down with me okay?" No. 0 shook his head, "I-- I have to-- to finish the book, for-- for Ben!"

"Some say, now suffer all the children, and walk away a savior, or a madman and polluted, from gutter institutions. Don't you breathe for me, Undeserving of your sympathy, 'Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did."

Klaus sighed, and turned James's chair around, and looked him in the eye, "I know okay? But you need to take a break once and a while. It's not healthy for you to be cooped up in here like this. Let's get you cleaned up and then we can just sleep. Come on,"  The lights remained off and Klaus supported James's weight -which he noticed had dropped- as they walked over to his dresser and pulled out a clean pair of pajamas. James yawned and started to drift off into sleep, but Klaus moved, waking the white-haired male up. They moved to the ensuite bathroom and sat down on the floor. Klaus began filling the tub up with water and watched as James lay against the wall not moving, but a tear trailed down his face, then another, and then they all started falling.