Stronger with You

Loss

Peyton*
June 21st, 1965

It had been a few days since we had gotten rid of Alison and had that party, things had gone back to normal and we were enjoying the long summer days. It had been real quiet around the house lately, like something bad was about to happen.

It was around eleven in the morning. Today was Soda's first day back at work after his entire rip accident. He and Steve had left at nine and Darry had left at eight for work.

Two-Bit sprawled out on the ground watching Mickey Mouse. I never had got why he loved the cartoon so much, to me it was just a mouse.

I laid across the couch my head resting in Ponyboy's lap. Johnny was on my other side with my legs in his lap.

Maya and Dally sat in Darry's chair, Maya on his lap. They claimed not to be dating, but there was something going on.

The phone ring pierced through the silence and jolted me awake.

"I got it." Maya muttered and got up from Dally's lap.

I let my eyes slip close as Maya answered the phone with, "The Curtis Residence, Maya speaking."

I drowned out the rest of her conversation and started drifting back off to sleep.

"Two-Bit. Peyton. You guys are needed at the hospital." Maya placed her hand on my shoulder, scaring me half to death.

Two-Bit was already standing and putting shoes on, heading to the door.

I got up tiredly, pulling my shoes out from under the couch. The gang that was at the house followed us out the door. Darry, Soda, and Steve were pulling up in the truck.

I was shoved on Soda's lap with my legs across Steve in the cab, everyone else in the bed.

I leaned my head on Sodas chest. Why was I so tired? Why did I have this weight on my heart?

"We're here," Soda whispered softly in my ear, waking me up. I didn't even know I had fallen asleep.

The walk inside the hospital was a blur. Two-Bit talking to the nurse at the front desk and we were led to a waiting room where a doctor met us. Soda stood by me the entire time.

"Keith and Peyton Matthews?" The doctor asked, he was a younger guy with blonde hair, cut in an army style, with piercing blue eyes, the color I thought the ocean was.

"That's us." Two-Bit stepped forward. I did the same thing as I started to regain all my senses.

I looked around and noticed three policemen in the room behind the doctor. Were we getting arrested?

"This morning around 9:35 there was a fire. 176 North St. Louis Avenue." That was my house. My address.

"We suspect that it was a gas leak and a spark that caused a small fire, but no one stopped it so it grew bigger." The policeman explained.

"There was one person in the house, Mary Matthews, was brought in. She went into cardiac arrest. I'm so sorry, we did everything we could, but we could not save her." I watched the doctors mouth move, the words coming out slowly.

"What room is she in? Can we see her?" I asked. Two-Bit stood stiffly beside me.

"She's in the morgue."

Suddenly, all at once, my brain began to piece together the puzzle. My mom was dead. She was dead just like Gracie.

"No." I shook my head, my throat closing, "No she's not. She can't be." My eyes watered, but I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to feel this pain.

"She can't be. There-there was so much we hadn't talked about. I didn't tell her I loved her." I fell to my knees and couldn't stop.

"She can't be dead!" I screamed, "she can't be." My hands curled into fists and I repeatedly punched the ground, sobs wracked my body.

"No. No. No." I continued screaming, my vocal chords tearing themselves apart. Somebody dropped down beside me, holding me tight to their body, preventing me of doing anymore harm to myself.

I curled up and sobbed, gripping their shirt and not even paying attention to who it was.

Two-Bit was talking to the doctor calmly. He shook his hand, nodded at the cops then we headed back to the Curtis house. We had a meeting with the funeral directors tomorrow.

I had learned that Soda was the one holding me. I was so weak and still a crying mess he carried me to the truck and inside the house when we had gotten home.

Soda took me to his room, laying me in his bed and covering me up. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I was standing outside my house. It was bright outside and the sun was beating down on my back, causing me to start sweating.

I could smell gas, but I still stayed standing. I didn't make any sort of movement as I saw the flames building and eventually swallowing my house entirely.

My moms burned body stood on the front porch. "I hate you, Peyton. I hate you."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I cried out reaching out for her, but my feet were cemented i'm the ground.

I couldn't leave. I couldn't get away. I was stuck there listening to my mom say how much she hated me, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't tell her I loved her and I was sorry.