Stronger with You

A Nightmare and Reality

Sodapop*
June 21st, 1965

Two-Bit stared off into space. His normally happy and bright eyes, were dark; like the skies during a rain storm.

The house was dead silent, that kind of silence that made you uncomfortable and upset.

The silence was broken by a scream. We all jumped, "Peyton." I got up and ran to my room tripping slightly on the way there.

Peyton was tangled in the sheets, her eyes clenched shut, and was screaming.

I basically launched myself into the bed, pulling her close to my chest, "Peyton! It's just a nightmare. I'm right here. I'm right here." I held her arms away from each other, preventing her from doing any further harm.

"I'm right here, Peyton. I'm right here." I whispered.

"I don't want to feel this anymore, Soda." Peyton's voice broke and her body sunk, as if she was giving up right there.

Her actions pierced my heart more than anything. Peyton was the strongest person I knew, she went through life fighting.

"I know, doll, but it'll ease." I didn't know what to do, comforting Pony after our mom and dad was a lot different then helping Peyton.

"I don't want to cry. I don't want to dream. Part of me just wants to die."

I squeezed her small body tight against myself, never wanting to let go. I wished we could stay here forever. I wished I could protect her from everything.

"Do you believe in God?"

The question shocked me. Did I? I looked down into Peyton's green eyes, they were red and puffy.

"I do believe in God." The only person that talked to me about these things was Ponyboy. If any of those guys or Maya would talk to me about this it would feel a little awkward, but it felt natural with Peyton.

"Then why would he do this? Why would he take away your parents? Why would he take my mom and sister? Why would he us live like greaser and soc?" I watched the tears fall from Peyton's eyes.

I reached up and brushed the tears off her cheeks, "My Ma told me when we lost our grandma that God isn't the cause of the storm, but he is the the comfort inside of it." That's what's held me together so much. What made me so "happy-go-lucky".

She rested her head on my chest, "I like that. How much do you miss your ma?"

I paused and moved to where I was leaning against the headboard. Peyton still laying across me with her head on my chest.

"A lot. All the time. I miss her smile and her voice. I miss her hugs and the way she smelled." My heart ached; I didn't enjoy being sad.

"I miss how soft my moms hands were." Peyton mumbled, "And I miss how happy we were. Even without my dad, we were happy. Like the four of us against the world."

"Do you remember much about your dad?" I asked.

"Yeah, I remember his laugh mostly. I remember him teaching me how to ride a bike and how to punch. For awhile, after he left, I made myself believe he was dead, because for some reason that was easier then knowing he left us for a new life. What about your dad?"

I let a small smile slip on my face, "He and Darry used to be so much alike. Their strength and care, but what I remember most is how much he loved my Ma. I would always catch him looking at her with pure happiness no matter what she was doing. Like she was the finest set of china there ever was in the world."

"I hope to find a love like that." Peyton smiled, then let a small yawn leave her mouth, and before I could even blink she was fast asleep.

There was a light knock on the door and Two-Bit peeked his head in, "I followed you up here, but you had it covered. How is she?"

"She wasn't too good." I looked down at her red blotchy face, "but I think she's going to be alright." I didn't know how to tell Two-Bit about our conversation. I knew I should mention her saying part of her wants to die, but it just felt wrong.

Part of me just didn't want to share this part of Peyton I had just learned about. I wanted to keep her all to myself.

Two-Bit lingered in the doorway, "Okay. Thanks for being there for her, Soda." and with that he had disappeared.

Her words ran through my mind. "I hope to find a love like that."

I thought about Sandy and how much I loved her, or at least I thought I did.

I thought of my dads love and how no matter what was happening he took time to tell my mom he loved her. How he thought she was beautiful no matter what.

I looked down at Peyton and my heart skipped a bit. Even with tear streaks, puffiness, and slightly snotty nose, she was a special type of gorgeous.

I looked around my room noticing for the first time how dark it was. The blinds we drawn shut and the light was off.

I looked back down at Peyton snoozing on my chest, finally accepting what I had been pushing away for so long.