Always - Sequel to Stay Together For The Kids

The truth.

"What do you mean?" I ask Ashton softly.

Ashton doesn't respond, but pushes the phone across the table.

I glance to it, then back at him.

"Calum sent Michael a text the day he died." Ashton starts to explain. "Told him that if he needed any more he would have to call someone else."

"If he needed any more what?" Luke demands.

"It doesn't say." Ashton says, shaking his head. "But I don't think it's that hard to guess."

I feel nauseous as I start piecing words together. "You're telling me that Calum gave Michael drugs the day he died?" I ask, not daring to believe it.

Ashton doesn't say anything, but I know the answer. We all do.

"But the police have had this phone for months?" Luke asks, frowning. "If they had any reason to be suspicious of Calum they would of arrested him."

Ashton turns to Luke grimly. "They did arrest him, remember?"

My heart stops as I suddenly remember. "For drug trafficking." I breathe.

"That's right." Ashton nods. "We all just assumed this was a recent incident. But what if the police had arrested him for all those months ago?"

My breath stops at my throat as everything makes sense. How Calum refused to talk to anyone about his arrest. We thought he was ashamed. Maybe he was, but about something so different...

"I saw him." Ashton says quietly.

Luke and I snap our heads to his. Ashton's eyes look down to the table. The phone lays forgotten in the middle.

"What?" Luke and I say in unison.

"I saw him." Ashton repeats. "Michael. Two days before he died. The day before court."

"What are you talking about?" I ask. This was a lot of information to take in a few minutes.

"It's on the phone messages. You were going to find out anyway." Ashton shrugs, still not meeting anyone's gaze. "I thought you should hear it from me."

The room is in silence. No one is daring to breathe. What's Ashton trying to tell me? And why had he kept this from me for so long?

"Why did you see him?" Luke asks quietly.

"Because Lily told me he was still using." Ash says, his head dropping. "I had to see if it was true."

My heart races as I force myself to remember the days leading up to Michaels death. It comes back in broken, painful memories.

"And?" Luke asks.

"And, he was. So I told him to get his act together. Told him to start acting like a husband." Ashton admits.

The memory of Ashton's house comes back to me as a flood. I don't want to remember it. It was repressed for a reason.

I shake my head. "You told me you didn't want anything to do with Michael. When I went to visit you, you told me you didn't care." My voice is almost a plead. I want him to tell me this isn't true. It can't be true.

"Of course I cared." Ashton croaks.

My head is spinning and I feel sick. I look away from him, the pain of the memories I've being fighting for so long, and the betrayal I felt at a man I thought I trusted threatens to overwhelm me.

"Lily?" I hear Ashton's voice but it feels far away. I don't have the strength to respond.

"What did Michael say to you when you told him that?" Luke asks, still frowning at Ashton.

"He told me that it was my fault that he had lost everything." I can hear Ashton's voice breaking. "He told me that and I walked away. Right before he killed himself."

"You walked away?" My voice is much stronger than I feel, still refusing to look at him.

"Yes." His voice is soft. Begging for forgiveness.

I feel numb. I don't even know what to do with this information.

"But so did you."

His words cut me like a knife. I look up, and meet Ashton's eyes.

"What?" I say, in shock.

"We all walked away." Ashton says. "Because none of us knew Michael would ever do this." Ashton try's to reason.

"So now it's a suicide?" I chirp up, my voice rising.

"What?" Ash frowns.

"When Calum visits Michael, it's murder." I say, my eyes narrowing. "But when you do it, it's suicide. Funny, that."

Ashton looks taken aback. "Lily, I thought you knew I would never. I mean, I thought you knew me."

"Yeah, I thought I did too." I say coldly, staring blankly at him.

I rise from my chair, staring straight at Ashton.

"Lily." Luke murmurs, reaching his hand out to grab mine.

"No." I say firmly, pulling out of his grasp. "No, I need to be alone right now."

Ashton stands as well, watching me helplessly.

"Lily." Ashton mumbles, looking at me with fear and a beg for forgiveness.

I shake my head. "I can't." I manage to choke out, my lungs feel like they're exploding and my head pounding. "I need to go."

Without another word to them both, I practically run out of the house, my keys in my hand as I pass the door.

I let the cold hair hit my face and lungs, let it be refreshing and inviting. I let it sting at the tears that leak at the corner of my eyes.

I only pause for a second though. I need to escape. I need to get away.

Everything is too much now. I don't even realise I'm in the car with the engine turned on before I'm driving out of the driveway.

I'm in a haze but I can't help it. I can't think of anything else right now. I want to go see Calum. I want to go see Mum. But more than anything else, I want to see Michael.

The thought of him is enough to tear through me. My stomach lurches and my tears become heavier. I can't really see anything and by this stage I don't really care.

For so long I had being trying. Trying to move on. Trying to do what's right. And everyone had being lying to me. Everyone I cared about, everyone I had left. All the people that promised they wouldn't hurt me. Their betrayal was what hurt the most.

Michaels betrayal. His betrayal for leaving me when he promised to love me forever.

I hear a screech, and then, nothing.

I don't know where the blackness comes from. I don't feel the slowing of my heartbeat. I don't feel the world leaving me behind. But I know the last word I have before the enclosing darkness takes me.

'Michael.'
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I have a new fanfic called 'Michael's Addiction'. It's for #fanficfriday, so go check it out and vote :)

(It's a Michael Clifford fanfic if you didn't already guess.)

Hope you guys are enjoying the story now I'm back to updating, love you all xx