SunFlaresPH AWARDS Season TWO

FEEDBACKS 61-70

FEEDBACK 61

This story gave me goodvibes. There is something about it that makes me feel like a child again. This one is good for children bedtime stories. The way the author writes it is childish which I would say in a negative way if it is intended for teens. I don't really think readers age 13 and up will read this unless they have the heart of a seven years old. This is my opinion only. And you should improve your sentence construction. Take note, wattpad users are not children. Write your story in a more mature way. The narrator sounded like a kid telling his parents about his dreams last night. It shouldn't be that way here on wattpad. Although, I really love the plot and twists. Your story is really magical.

Title, Description & Prologue/Synopsis
4

Book Cover
4

Plot, Twist & Flow
4+4+4=12

Character Development
9

Message & Impact
13

FEEDBACK 62

Why is this under the adventure genre? Well, nevermind that. I read all eight chapters and I was very impressed on how well written it is (technically and creatively). I felt what the character felt. It has an undeniable impact to a reader. But, there is something it lacks. After reading it, for some odd reasons, it felt like I read a poem, not a story. Or maybe a short story? It's not because I wanted more but it lacks characteristics of a story. It even gave me a thought that it might be originally a letter? Or a short message for people experiencing pain? But I am not saying that it is a bad one, it just don't fit as a story. Other things I notice is that the title sounded like it is a romantic novel which is not. The story blurb is not that clear. Although the description has a very nice quote on it, I don't think it's catchy enough for readers to be curious and open it. But overall, the story is great and the message was very powerful.

Title, Description & Prologue/Synopsis
3

Book Cover
5

Plot, Twist & Flow
3 3 4=10

Character Development
9

Message & Impact
15

FEEDBACK 63

This is not an adventure story at all. It's more like a teen fiction. But I loved it. I am not a fangirl and absolutely NOT kpop. BUT, this story made me feel positive about it. It is sooo cute and creative that the author made me giggle in just the first chapter. I got hooked by the story and how it was written was very impressive as well. My only problem are the subplots. They aren't too original and by how the story progresses, it's cliché for the most part.

Title, Description & Prologue/Synopsis
5

Book Cover
4

Plot, Twist & Flow
3 4 5 =12

Character Development
9

Message & Impact
13

FEEDBACK 64

Another original piece, very good! The plot is in trend except that the flow is very fast and the message isn't clear to me. I don't know what are your trying to say to your readers? or what are the logic behind every scenes? It is not enough that you write scenes of an adventure. There must be some deep meaning behind it. And the characters development are too fast. The building of their relationship was not executed well. As I say, it is not enough to JUST write. Write it with feelings. You only have five chapters. You can remedy it.