FINE LINE | HARRY STYLES

TWENTY-THREE.

FEBRUARY, 2019. CONT.

Valentine's Day has never felt lonelier.

River had to leave to New York for some movie meeting and I was stuck in LA filming. Not to mention, things are still awkward between Blair and I. So, on set I mainly stuck around Maude and Jacob.

I could tell she wanted to say something. She usually makes this one apologetic face and stares at me until I notice and approach her.

Frankly, I was the one who was upset now.

How dare she call me weak?

I love Blair but trust me, when she said that shit about watching me heartbroken, it was complete bullshit. She stuck around for a day and then went off to party with other people. I never got mad at her for it. I understood.

No one wanted to be around the sad girl.

I just find it ironic she mentioned that.

I was the one who picked myself back up. I was the one who cried myself to sleep. I was the one who lost someone. It was me who had to go through this utter heartbreak on my own.

Losing Harry had to be one of the hardest moments in my life. He was just more than a friend. He was my whole world.

Yet I still made it when I didn't think I would.

Weak my fucking ass.

The drive home is quiet. Usually someone is in the car with me whether it's Blair or River. But it's just me and the soft sound of The Beatles playing through my speakers.

It gave me a lot of time to think, though.

Why am I always so fucking miserable?

What's wrong with me?

I must have issues or something.

When I get home, I sit in the car for a long time. I don't want to go inside that empty house. I mean, I have Blue, but she can't physically talk to me.

Sighing, I get off the car and unlock my front door, jingling my keys to call Blue to me. I wait by the door for her to come running.

But she never does.

I drop my things and look around, trying to find where she's hiding.

She's in her bed. My heart begins to race as I realize she's not breathing. I quickly lean toward her, trying to feel for something, anything.

I panic, rolling her lifeless body over. She doesn't move and her eyes don't open.

"No, Blue." I whisper, my eyes wet with tears.

What the fuck do I do?

I pace the room, debating what to do. I feel so sick to my stomach.

My mind is cloudy. I click on the first contact I can think of. I could have called anyone else. Anyone else on this day.

"Soleil?"

But he didn't have to answer, either.

"Harry." I sob out, not able to control my tears.

"Soleil, what's wrong?"

"It's Blue."

-

He's here in a matter of minutes.

From what I could hear in the background, she wasn't too happy about it. I felt guilty ruining their Valentine's plans, but when she called him a piece of shit, I didn't feel so bad anymore.