Shadow | BTS

32

"...and we found some toxic medicaments in his blood" officer said. I could not realize at the moment what he was saying because I was too schocked. It seemed that his words went straight to my head but then left immediately.

"W-w-hat do you mean?" I was lost. "Are you actually saying... you are saying that somebody killed him?" I could not find a proper words. "What do you mean?" my eyes started watering.

"That's the case, I'm sorry for saying that" he confirmed.

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHY! WHY!" I grabbed him by his collar. My tears were dropping so fast but I felt angriness only at the moment. I was trying to put my anger all over him but after some seconds I realized that's the worst idea.

"I'm so sorry one more time. It's forbidded to leave the country once it is not fully clearly" he added when I let him. I was standing here with my head looking at the ground and not doing anything. I didn't think about anything. When I tilted my head I saw there is no one around me. I was all alone.

Officer has left. I couldn't manage to speak with him. I was poisoned by his words.

After 1 hour I came to the studio. The same old studio where I was going through good and bad times. This dancing studio saw the real me, the way I grew up. I felt that this is the only place it can heal me now. I wanted to believe.. I went to sit very slowly and I raised my head.

Mirror. I saw myself in a mirror. I saw the way I was dying slowly and nobody could save me. Nobody. Or there is? I grabbed the bottle of brandy. This probably helps in this kind of situations.

I was drinking..

drinking..

and drinking..

I was so tipsy. so so much. I was high and drunk and all in one. The funny thing is that the pain didn't leave me.

"It didn't" I said.

"FUCK" I started shouting. I grabbed the bottle and threw it to the mirror. It crashed to small pieces immediately. I was destroying books, papers, all the things around me which were distracting me.

I did a huge mess. But I am a mess too?

"THEY KILLED HIM, THEY KILLED HIM" I was shouting. "I WILL FIND WHO DID THIS, I WILL FIND YOU" anger was pouring from my mouth when I threw a chair.

Suddenly somebody hugged me from behind and stopped my actions.

"Jimin" Hoseok said. I wanted to throw something again but he was stronger.

"It hurts hyung" I said. "Why does it hurt so bad" I added.

"I'm here, keep calm" he said.

"SHE" I suddenly said. "JEONGYEON" I added.

NAMJOON'S POV

That's the thing. That's the worst thing about existing. You live, you smile, you laugh and you cry together. You are just thinking that you are together, that you can see other people's feelings, their emotions, their thougths but you are not. People can't be fully understandable, can they?

It just seems that you are capable of saving others, that you have everything in your hands but reality is that nobody can be saved. It just happens. and that's life, that's the worst part of existing.

Nobody can be blamed.

I didn't see this coming. That's true that for the past 2 months I spend more time with Hoseok trying to help him, to help him to collect his broken pieces he has left behind. I was trying to save him but I couldn't save Jin hyung.

Maybe it was a simple chat he wanted to have and that would be fine after all?

Even though I couldn't sleep a whole night I couldn't forget the only one job I had to save Taehyung. I just can't lose another brother.

Jackson Wang. He was like a secret friend of mine. I never introduced him to my other friends which I called brothers. For some reasons people were thinking that Jackson is a bad guy. Maybe that's because he had a little scar on his left cheek or maybe that he had a Spanish nickname. But the reality is that he got his scar because he bumped in to the mirror when he was a child and his nickname.. Well.. His father was a Chinese who married a woman from Spain. When Jackson was born things started going worse and worse. His mother left Jackson's father and moved to Spain together with him. The only one thing he needed in his life was a father. Probably that's why he became one.

Papi

"Don't you worry I'll do my best Nam" he said and touched my shoulder before leaving.

////////

Jackson came in a bar where everybody knew each other. He wasn't new here.. This is where he belongs, they thought. Once he entered the place he caught some looks and made a little smirk on his face which looked sexy? He attracted some girls to approach him now and oh.. that's obvious. He was going near the table who was standing in a center of this messy place.

Lot's of smoke, a smell of alcohol and weed everywhere.

"Come on, take it" a girl offered a drink to Jackson which he gladly took. Her skirt was so short that you knew for what reasons she is here tonight.

"Thank you beautiful" he said and smiled.

"Just look who is here" an older guy stood up. "Papi" he added.

He came to hug Jackson and he gladly did the same.

"You know I just missed a smell of victory" Jackson smirked again. "But I missed you all too" Jackson added. "5 tequila shots you beautiful lady right there" Jackson shouted and pointed to a girl near the bar. She answered with a smile.

what an easy atmosphere.

Jackson took out his cigarettes from the jacket while sitting on the chair near the big big table. Once he sit down other 4 guys around the table looked a little bit scary.

"So tell me Henry, what happened since I was gone?" Jackson lighted up the cigarette.

a skinny guy from behind came to spilt the chips.

"It's been a little bit boring without you" he answered. "Santiago is still trying to fight over the better place in a group, Nickey can't remember what girl he didn't bang in town yet"

"I don't really care about them.. What I really care is a good deal you know" Jackson said.

"What can you offer?" and older man asked.

"A painting" Jackson stopped smoking. "Does it say something to you?" Jackson clarified.

they weren't easy when the things were coming out about bad stuff. But he knew they going to spill everything right there right now.

"And that is my offer. I'm betting. Who knows you may do a full house" Jackson smirked and started the poker by taking his cards.

full house is amazing but who could beat a Royal flush?