My Idol, My Brother

Chapter 7: Chance

It was already late when Aya arrived home. She was actually rushing home because Jesse could be home any minute and she knew how he hated coming home without food prepared. She looked at her watch and cussed to herself when she saw it's almost 10:30 in the evening. When she arrived home, she saw that Jesse's shoes were already there and bit her lower lip as she expected herself to be in trouble. She placed her bag down on the sofa, rushed to the kitchen and to her surprise, Jesse was there preparing food.

"You're late, so I helped myself and cooked..." Jesse said, not looking at her, focusing on the food he's making, "Where were you?"

"I uh... Takaki-kun invited me out for dinner..." then she saw that Jesse was actually preparing food for two, "Are you expecting someone?"

Jesse just shook his head, "I'll eat all of this," he lied. He wasn't going to eat everything, the second portion was for Aya, "It's a good thing you ate already, or else, no food for you,"

"Oh... I'll be going upstairs now, okay?" Aya told him and left right away.

Jesse sighed and thought to himself, "What should I do... As if there's anything that I can do for her after everything I did to her." Once done cooking, Jesse went to his bedroom to eat his dinner, only to hear from the other room that Aya was happily talking to someone. He stood by the wall of his room to listen to who she's talking to. Few minutes of listening, he was sure who, it was his senpai, Takaki Yuya. He didn't know why, but he gritted his teeth and clenched his fist as he felt something's being twisted in his chest.

Aya's cheerful voice, Aya's laugh. He cursed to himself, asking, questioning, why did he only hear it right now? He knew everything was his fault. It was his fault for being an immature brat and thought that everything revolved around him. He thought that he was the only was affected by the whole thing. He thought he was robbed of being able to be happy. Maybe, the reason why he hated Aya the most was that they have the same history, but Aya was able to bravely face everything with a smile and her head's up, while he cannot even accept what's happened to him. He blamed everyone. He had been good at hiding what he felt to his father, and Aya arrived, he thought it was a chance for him to release his frustrations. He's so pissed that there's someone that can do something he cannot, bravely facing the problems. Being punched by Takaki, and having few talks with Hokuto, Jesse realized that he needed to stop blaming everyone and accept everything, accept that his father's already happily in love with someone else, and he already has a sister that's extremely devoted to her promise to him, makes her devoted to him. He has someone that unconditionally cared for him no matter what kind of cruelty he did to her. He knew there's only one in a million people that can be found on this planet that's as kind as Aya, and here he was, almost disposing her.

He involuntarily hit the wall with the side of his fist in anger, this time, he's angry to himself. He's done with being angry with other people, this time, he'll properly take responsibility of his actions.
He heard the door open behind him and saw a worried Aya with her phone still in her hand, "What happened? I heard a loud thud in my room coming from here,"

Jesse shook his head, "Everything's fine, go back to you room," he tried his best to speak to her in his usual coldness. Somehow, at this time, until he can repay a bit of his debt to her, he doesn't feel like he deserved to be close to her. Aya nodded and went back to her room and resumed her talk with Takaki. Jesse on the other hand laid down in his bed, covered his eyes with his arm and suddenly remembered the day that something happened between him and Aya. He bit his lower lip until it was already bleeding, realizing how much he took advantage of her and taking advantage even of her body was unforgivable. He's not sure if he can forgive himself for being such a jerk.

Now, he had decided, he will treat her properly. He will make sure to even have at least Aya forgive her with everything he had done, then maybe, he can work on forgiving himself.