Firsts and Lasts- Kliensen

First Time

Please note the rating change. HOWEVER I would like to say if you don't read that sort of thing, it's only one chapter. Just skip this one, because it is the ONLY one with mature content.

-21 years old-

---Jared---

You cannot imagine the agony of sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend nearly every night and not having sex. You can't. It's immeasurable, incomparable.

Today we sit on the bed, our feet out in front of us and our backs to the window behind us. Or, that's how Evan is, anyway. I'm in his lap, my knees on either side of him, pulling his face towards mine so I can kiss him.

I've joked and teased about sex, but I think waybe I should make it clear that I haven't only meant it as a joke. In any case, grinding into him is already wonderful.

I'm really, really hard. He's really, really hard. So naturally, I pause.

Evan's eyes, which were closed, fly open and he bucks his hips up into mine. "Evan Hansen, " I say. He looks up at me, pupils blown, the ring of blue around them a tiny bit thinner. "It has been an excruciating quarter in which I have done nothing but think about fucking you, so can we please have sex? Please?"

Evan regards me thoughtfully. "Okay."

"Okay?" I repeat giddily, "Wow, were you just like, waiting for me to ask?" The hem of his shirt is soft as I grab it to pull it over his head.

Evan blinks at me, shirtless and blushing. "I'm not- I don't just- I didn't want to just randomly just. Um." He fumblingly pulls off my shirt and then my next shirt with nervous hands.

I don't think I thought this through very well. I want him naked, but I definitely don't want him seeing me naked. I'm not all that skinny. "It's not random sex," I say instead of don't look at me, "you're my boyfriend."

Evan, the idiot, is folding our shirts and setting them aside. I don't even think he's looked at me yet. This boy will be the death of me. "Yeah, no, I know, but we- I wanted to have this conversation, you know? I- I don't know." He ducks his head. "I want it to be deliberate, but I didn't- I couldn't just-" I know what he means. Couldn't just ask. I get it. I do.

"That's the sweetest fucking thing I have ever-" I stop, because he's looking at me under the soft light. "I'm... Um..."

"Really hot?" Evan leans forwards, his lips pressing against my collarbone and going down, down, down to my racing heart.

"Am I?" I try to make it sound joking, but it comes out embarrassingly earnest.

Evan pauses, looking up at me, brow wrinkled. "Yes," he says decisively, and then my hands are on his pants, fumbling, and his hands are on my pants. The air is charged with anticipation.

I'm about to have sex with Evan Hansen, the boy I've loved for years.

---Evan---

We're both in our underwear now, and I lay down on the bed, pulling Jared on top of me. Jared pulls back for a second and I'm a little- a lot- totally scared that I did something wrong, but he's just reaching for my waistband, and then he looks at me with a question in his eyes and my eyes say yes.

So he pulls them down and the cool air hits me right there. I'm already hard, and I'm slipping my fingers into Jared's underwear, pulling it down and I've never wanted anything more in my life than I want this with Jared now.

I hear him reaching for the bottle under our bed that I think he put there some months ago, and then he kisses the tip of my dick and a gasp darts out of my mouth because it feels so good and I want more, more, more.

And I get it. When I think of Jared, I don't think of sucking dick, but here he is, sucking me off like it's what he was born to do, his mouth hot and wet around me, his tongue dancing up and down and swirling right at the tip and I can't help bucking my hips. I'm gasping really loud and it feels so good and-

"Oh my God!" Something wet and cold and slick presses, gently, right there at- at right there and I'm panting, and then it's in me and the hand that I have in Jared's hair tightens, and I have to fist the sheets and I'm making all these little noises as Jared gently inserts another finger right up my ass, moving them around.

Then it's three fingers, and I'm amazed they can all fit, but they loosen me up until they slide easily and I push myself down on them, needing them, with Jared whispering things to me in the dark.

"God, Evan, you're so hot, oh fuck, holy gay-"

I laugh, my chest feeling lighter even as desire coils heavily in my stomach. "Did you just say holy gay?" and then I cut myself off with a gasping moan because Jared is in me- he's pushing his dick, hard and long, right into me, inch by inch by inch, slowly like I'm the most delicate thing in the world and this time, I love it.

I press back on it when he finally starts moving, his sharp breathing and moans mixing with my own in the cold air, his hands like fire on my skin, his blue-green-gray eyes with the one brown spot seizing mine and never letting go as he pushes in and out, drinking in with this need that has me gasping and whimpering for him to give me more.

"Evan," Jared gasps, his hips moving faster, coming in harder. "You're amazing, you're so amazing, god."

I open my mouth to reply, and then he hits something inside me that lights up and has me arching up off the bed into him, the spot sending sparks through my body and mind. I moan and cry out and beg him to hit that spot again and when he does, I clench around him- I don't even mean to, but I do- and it only takes us a minute more before we both come, stars sparking around the edges of my vision, Jared calling my name out, and I'm gasping I love you through my release.

We just lie there for a minute, Jared's sweaty chest pressed against mine, his face buried in the crook of my neck and my arms around this wonderful, incredible person that I never thought I'd have.

And then Jared slides out of me, holds me, and we sit that way, my head on his shoulder, for a couple more seconds before Jared grins up at me and I know he's about to shoot off some smart-ass comment.

"Bloody brilliant, Evan."

"Jared, that's- I don't think- is that a Spanish accent?"

"Shut up. We should pee. Sanitation, you know?"

Oh my God. Yes, I remember that text. "Fuck you Jared. Asshole."

"Hey!" He deserved it.

We race to the bathroom.

XXX

That was the last time in a long time Evan and Jared slept in the same bed, per Evan's insistence, unless they planned to do more than sleep.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I suck at writing smut. 

                  -The Worst Writer on Wattpad