Is it love? Ryan Carter - His side of the story!

Chapter 32 - Apologies

The night was long. After talking to the IRS answering all their questions and saying I'm willing to collaborate with their investigation, they left the building. Thank God for the injunction Sanderson arranged they couldn't take any more documents from us. I requested one more meeting with Colin and Mark just to settle the fine aspects of our next moves. I managed to get to the penthouse where I slept a little and take a shower to be back in the office early in the morning. I wanted to be here before Rory arrives. I need to talk to her. I hate leaving unsettling matters between us. I let a note on Pames desk to warn me as soon as Rory arrives. It doesn't take more than an hour for her to announce Rory's arrival. I take some time to think about what I should tell her. I don't want to keep arguing with her. I don't want to yell at her, but I need her compromise to follow my instructions. She must understand that I do things to protect her. I know that sometimes I'm not the best one to put my emotions into words and I tend to be harsh. It hurt her; I saw it. She's so strong, that I forget that I want her as my lover, I need her at my side, and I can't always talk to her as an employee. God. It's so hard to conceal those roles. I always fight to keep my personal and professional lives far away from each other. Although it just takes one pretty, tiny and witty brunet to wash over all my resolutions and turn my world upside down. That's it. I just must tell her what I'm feeling and try to be sincere. I open my office door and march through the lobby to her room door. I open it abruptly, without a knock and face the bizarre image of Rory in that Ortega's arms. I see red. My first instincts are to rip his head and arms for being touching MY girl. I control myself, remembering I'm at the office and he's an employee. It's not going to look good making a scene right now. But my look to this guy tells all the things I would do to him if I wasn't me and if we weren't here.

"I ...uh ...I'll go."

Yes, you'll go, and you'll stay away from her. I hear Rory letting a small contrite sign. But I don't care. I'm protecting what's mine, and she's mine. So, my eyes don't leave Mr. Ortega until he leaves her office. As he passes beside me through the door, holding my stare, I clench my teeth and slide my hands inside my trouser pockets to prevent to punch his face. When he's gone, I stare at her.

"Ryan... Please... Leave him alone. He's my friend. and God knows how much I need a friendly shoulder right now."

She's not looking in my eyes. She's avoiding it. I don't know why. I don't know what she's thinking. That drives me crazy. She has tears trickling down her cheek, onto one of the files. That breaks my heart, it's unbearable to watch her crying. I go over her and rest my hands on her shoulder. She starts to move away as if I was able to harm her. That destroys me. I look at her trying to search her eyes, but she keeps looking down. I try to approach her again and stroke her arms. The idea that I'm the reason for her tears irritates and torment me. - "Is it me making you cry?" - I ask looking insistently at her. I need to be sure.

"What do you think?"

Of course, it is me. How come I'm so idiot? After how I talked to her yesterday. I didn't bring my coward ass to make some time to call her and apologize. I ignored her message. I'm a lowlife. I sigh with the realization and put a hand against her neck to invite her to rest her head against my chest. We remain like this for several minutes in each other's arms. Gradually her body relaxes. Yet my heart is still tight. I'm tired of our quarrels, and I suppose she's too. As if capable of reading my mind she sighs softly and moves slightly away from me. She wipes her tears with her fingertips and fixes her tearful gaze on me.

"Ryan... I can't take anymore. These arguments we have... I'm not sure I can cope in a relationship like ours. And even if I could take it, it's not what I want."

My blood freezes in my veins. She wants to end. She's realizing I'm not good enough for her. That Ortega guy is so much more right for her. My god, I can't let that happen. I'm a selfish bastard and I can't stand her being on another man's arms. She's mine. I have to do something. I pass a warm hand over her cheek and look at her affectionately plunged into her heavenly eyes. - "I'm sorry, Rory... I shouldn't have got carried away and talked to you like I did. Forgive me."