A Song to Come Home to

Chapter Nine

Much to Doctor Mori's promise, and to Dabi's dismay, his solitary confinement comes to an eventual end. It takes a few days but he's slowly reintegrated into a daily schedule. It's filled with mundane activities and drab meals that Dabi has no interest in eating. Most of all, Rei had seemed to make it her mission to talk to Dabi everyday and that's something that he hates above all.

Why couldn't he be allowed to die in Tartarus like what was planned? Why must he forced to endure more pain and suffering by having to see his mother everyday now?

"Hello, Dabi." Rei greets him one afternoon. He barely glances up from his lunch as she sits down opposite of him. From the corner of his eye, he watches her closely. Rei simply smiles and looks down at the chopsticks in her slim fingers. All around them, soft chatter of the other patients fill the quiet and awkward bubble between them.

"Do you like soba?" She questions and Dabi stops eating. Finally looking up from the bowl of noodles in front of him, he stares at her. Even though it had been nearing eleven years that Dabi had run away, Rei doesn't look like she had even aged a day past thirty-four. Under her soft gaze, Dabi feels as if he's a child again. That feeling is something that he has mixed feelings on.

On one hand, he wants to run to her and cry and plead for forgiveness and tell her how scary everything had been. On the other hand, he wants to burn all of that sentiment away. He had stood in the ashes of his old life and forged a new one, one that fits him better than what Touya's life could ever offer him. Dabi has no reason to go back to that. Even if the forgotten memories of his childhood rise up and grab hold of him, forcing him to remember what he had thought he burned away. He still wants to deny everything.

He is the League of Villains' Dabi. He is a cold hearted murderer that claims the lives of other villains, heroes and civilians. There is no room for a weakling like Touya. In Dabi's life, it's kill or be killed. He had stared death in the eyes countless times and laughed. Rei softly sighs, startling Dabi from his thoughts.

"I used to make soba all the time back home. My children loved it, it was always their favorite. Especially my oldest and youngest, they would just about go crazy for it." Rei pauses, lifting a hand up to hide her growing smile. "That's probably a rather insensitive sentence to say in our situation." Scoffing, Dabi crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at her. He's not in the mood for any sort of play of words.

"Why do you keep trying to talk to me?" He finally asks, unable to keep his curiosity from taking hold of him. Since first seeing her last week during that group therapy session, Dabi had stayed stubbornly silent. He doesn't want to talk to her or even see her. Each time he gazes in her direction, he feels the walls that he had carefully constructed over the years shatter instantly. All that's left is the swirling of ice shards where his walls had once been.

"You remind me of one of my children." Even her soft voice fills him with a broiling rage. It feels like fire that rips through his veins and threatens to boil him from the inside. One of his hands falls to his lap to hide the trembling that takes hold of it.

"Let me guess." He hisses out. "I remind you of your Touya." Dabi doesn't glance away from Rei this time and she doesn't look away either. He tries and fails to find a reason to hate her. Dabi tries to detest the kindness in her eyes and the patience in her voice. He wants nothing more than to explode from anger but each wave of anger fizzles out before it can fully come to surface.

"Yes."

"I dunno how many times I gotta tell you this, lady. I am not Touya." Rei nods, her smile never wavering. Reaching out a hand, she gently pats his own hand. Her skin is cold to the touch and he jerks his hand away as if he had just been struck. All of the fire of his rage had instantly been plunged into an ocean of ice. No matter how much he tries to call forth his fury, nothing comes but the constant rolling of sadness and regret that crashes against him until all remnants of his hatred has been washed away.

"I know, Dabi." She blinks up at him, her smile turning sad. "Please, I'm still a mother and..." Rei trails off, looking away from Dabi. He narrows his eyes and waits for another round of her insisting about his hidden identity. Dabi makes the resolution that until his very last breath, he will constantly deny everything. Even if he has to fight with the growing internal struggle between Dabi and Touya, he will deny everything.

"And I made some major mistakes in my life. I miss Touya so much." Dabi swallows down the bitter taste in his mouth. This is a conversation that he does not want to have. If he could, he would run away from this. Sadly, this is one problem that he can't run away from.

"You talk about him as if he's dead." His voice is soft and small. Deep down, he's hurt at the fact that observation; even if it is technically true. Dabi tells himself that it's just because he doesn't like to see his mother be so saddened.

"Everyone has always tried to tell me that he really is dead." She replies simply. Dabi can only manage to nod, feeling numb. It brings him some sort of twisted closure that his estranged family had moved on. All but Rei, it seems.

"I... I see." Is all he can say. His hand in his lap turns weak, after almost eleven years- he finally finds himself mourning for his own death.

"I never believed it though." Rei speaks up, her voice gaining strength. "I knew that my baby boy was still out there. If I had just been a better mother, I could have saved him." Those words strike through Dabi's heart and he can just nod, he feels frozen to the spot. Even after all these years, Rei still blames herself. Dabi never wanted that.

Touya never wanted that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things so dark so suddenly." Rei casts a concerned look to him and he looks down to his now room temperature lunch. There is so much for him to unpack and neither of his personas know how to process Rei's words.

"It's fine." Dabi eventually replies, he keeps his eyes downcast. There is a fear that if he looks up to his mother that he will start to cry. To keep himself safe from having to recognize that fear and what she's saying, he tries to tune everything out.

"Dabi." Her voice is so soft, still so full of a mother's love even after all this time. "Do you have a family?"

"No." He answers after a while. "Everyone in my family is dead."

"I see." He only moves when her cold hand touches his hand that's still resting on the table. Looking up, she smiles gently at him. He makes a face, how can she even find it within her to still smile like that at him? After all that he had done, she still looks to him as a son instead of the monster that he is.

"Well, if it would be okay with you, I would like to be your mother?" Her request is something that he hadn't been expecting and it throws him entirely off guard. Dabi stays silent for a very long time, his eyes fall to her hand that's still resting upon his own. Is he even worthy of her offer?

"I'll think about it."

-

Two days go by with Rei patiently waiting for Dabi's answer. She can tell by the look in his eyes that he wants to say yes to her request but it's a matter of pride and years of bottled up emotions and self denial that keeps holding him back. She can see the silken threads that serve as the tethers that continuously yank him backwards into the darkness every time he tries to run away. It breaks her heart.

On the dawn of the third day, Dabi hesitantly comes up to her during breakfast. Even as a man at twenty-four, he keeps his eyes downcast in embarrassment. She can't help but to smile when he sits down next to her, rather than in front of her.

"I'm still going to call you Rei though." That's all he says before he puts all of his undivided attention to his breakfast. Rei simply nods, her smile growing. He had given her more than what she had even expected and even if he will continue to call her Rei, that's fine.

She has her baby back.

Reaching over, she pats him on the shoulder. For a second, she can feel Dabi tense under her touch but soon relaxes and leans into it.