A Song to Come Home to

Chapter Sixteen

Be still. Close your eyes. Relax. Breathe in, memories of the mass carnage of the hospital floods her mind. Squeezing her eyes tighter, all Fuyumi can see is the bright and furious burning of orange flames that stand out against the blue crackling and creeping ice. Even orange hellfire could not hold a candle to the frigid ice that claims anything that dares to fall into its path. Upon witnessing it in its true fury and glory, Fuyumi had thought of lava. Just like lava, her mother's ice is a power beyond imagination and it creeps slowly along- filling cracks and crevices, destroying everything. She remembered a saying from long ago. 'First, the Earth giveth and then the Earth taketh.'

All she can see in her mind's eye is the sight of her father being loaded in the stretcher with the look of just nothing on his face. In all of her twenty three years of life, she had never seen him look so defeated and broken before and that had scared her. Every time Fuyumi tries to change her thoughts from her father, they drift to the memory of watching her mother disappear into the crowd without anything more than a promise to return.

Opening her eyes, Fuyumi quietly sighs. She supposes there's no use in constantly worrying over what she can't change... though she knows that it will continue to eat away at her core and soul anyway. Even when she was a young child, Fuyumi had always been an overthinker. Guilt haunts her, she knows that she should have tried to stop her mother and at least demand some sort of answers. Instead, she had been passive and let her go.

Among some of her traits that she despises about herself, being meek is on the top of the list. There had been times where she knows that she should have stepped in, where she should have held her ground... where she should have put her foot on the ground and tell people what's truly on her mind. Instead, she always falters. Cracking and melting like ice under the glaring spring sun.

Glancing over to a family photo, Fuyumi gazes at it for a moment too long. Four faces stare solemnly back at her, missing two family members. It had been taken on her university graduation but everything about the photo only claims a formal obligation rather than a celebration. In her slender hands is her university diploma and she's wearing a smile that doesn't quite reach her turquoise eyes. Shouto and Natsuo stand on either side of her. Shouto with his ever blank expressions and Natsuo, who isn't even looking into the camera but rather up and to the left. Behind them, stands their father. His shoulders are squared back and his stern expression feels like he's staring holes into Fuyumi's soul.

Before she spirals into thoughts of 'could haves, what ifs and should haves', a soft meow gains her attention. The meow is the only warning before a large and sleek black cat jumps up on her lap, he lets out another meow and stares up at her with wide gold eyes.

"Hi Jiji." Fuyumi greets him with a small smile and pets him, letting his loud and happy purrs lull her into a sense of stability. As he quickly falls asleep, Fuyumi reaches over and tries to call Natsuo again. She hasn't heard from him since yesterday evening when he had sent her a simple text message that had only said 'I love you Yumi.'. True to her nature, she had begun worrying and overthinking and no matter how many times she tried to call him or text him, her only reply back was radio silence.

"Hey, it's ya boy, Natsuo. I'm busy right now but I'll give you a call back when I can!" Fuyumi doesn't bother trying to leave a voicemail, knowing that leaving yet another voicemail to the barrage of voicemails she had already left will most likely remain not listened to or deleted entirely. Pulling her phone away from her ear, she locks it and watches it slide between her fingers. It bounces twice off of the sofa cushion and then falls to the floor, screen down. Fuyumi doesn't bother to check if the screen had cracked or not- she's dropped her phone plenty of times and it had never cracked before.

Fuyumi starts to drift off and wakes herself up when her chin falls against her chest. Stretching, Jiji lets out a meow in protest and jumps down- disappearing into the darkness of her apartment. Before getting up, Fuyumi reaches down and grabs her phone. Turning it over, she stares down at the cracked screen in silence.