Forever Indebted

goodbye buddy

*2 days later*

Going back into town was a mission itself, Rey had no motivation to walk all that way just for a couple parts, get stared at, then walk all the way back. Though she knew that she needed to do it, she needed to occupy her time or she would just continue on a downward spiral.

Mustering up all the motivation she could find she trampled up the stairs and into the burning sun, throwing on the poncho to protect her already sun scathed skin. BB-8 was insistent that Rey took him with her, apparently droids can get stir crazy too. He argued with her in various tones of beeps until she gave in.

Whirling around in circles a few times the droid couldn't contain its excitement. He let out an alarmed beep once he realised Rey was a good amount of distance in from of him. Catching up in no time, Rey looked down at the ball, she was certain that if he were human he'd be gasping for breath after covering that distance.

The remainder of the walk was just as Rey expected, long and hot. She'd thought that after living on Jakku her whole life that Tatooine would be a breeze, but that second sun made it that much hotter than she was used to. Following the same path she took last time she had arrived at that same droid run scrap shop. BB-8 let out happy beeps, always excited to see other droids. Unlike BB-8 these droids didn't have as much of a personality as the ball did.

Rey couldn't help but feel bad. It was like the young child who the big kids didn't want to play with. Handing over credits again and receiving her parts, Rey called for BB-8. He was beeping something to her that she translated as "did they have to be so mean?" Rey let out a little chuckle at her round friend. Making their way back through the town Rey was alarmed when BB-8 shot off suddenly.

Desperately running after him, Rey came to a halt as she saw the commotion up ahead. BB-8 was no where to be seen, but she knew where the droid was when the heard the yell of a familiar pilot. As if on queue Poe came flying out of the building, thrown out my an unknown face. Rose and Lieutenant Connix came out shortly after with their hands up not wanting the same treatment as Poe.

"Stay off our planet Rebel scum!" Rey heard a voice shout from the inside.

She hurriedly ran up to them, "Guys what are you doing here? Are you all okay?.

"Yea were okay, just a few bruises I think," Lieutenant Connix let out in a bit of an annoyed voice, "We came to negotiate terms of them releasing their hold over the planet and returning the civilians they've taken. Safe to say they did not take kindly to our intrusion. Though that could've been worse, were all still alive and standing which is a relief."

Rey really liked the Lieutenant, she reminded her so much of General Organa. "I'm glad you're all safe, though you probably won't be while you're still hanging around the middle of town. We can go back to the homestead if you'd like? You would be safer there." She was hesitant with them, unsure of what they would think of her after the revelation she made the other day.

"We'd love to Rey. Thank you." Rose offered a soft smile as if showing Rey that they were okay. "Is it far? We have a couple speeders we took to get here from the capital."

"It's a fair distance and honestly I think BB-8 would prefer travelling like the privileged droid he was raised as." Rey let out a little laugh as she looked down at the droid.

"Hey! He's a vital part of this organisation, I didn't want him to exert himself so he's lived a lavish life." Poe told Rey in an almost fatherly tone, his mouth failing to hide the smile he was holding in. They all laughed together after that, before deciding to make their way to the homestead.

"So what happened back there with the gang?" Rey piped up once they were inside.

The three resistance heroes shared a strange glance. "They refused our terms and well you saw the rest." She could tell they were keeping something from her. She didn't bother prying, something told her that they weren't particularly happy with the terms they presented.

Poe quickly changed the conversation, asking Rey how she'd been taking care of his droid. Rey slumped a little in her chair, she hadn't been looking after him at all. Often leaving him alone as she was working through her problems.

"I-I haven't been. Poe I'm so sorry but I want you to take him back. There is nothing here for him and I've been horrible at looking after him. I know he'd be happier with his 'Dad', and doing something useful with you guys." Rey couldn't help but feel sad.

"Rey no, I want you to keep him here with you. I know he loves your company." Poe was trying to convince her to keep him. BB-8 even beeped up that he liked being with her.

Rey crouched down to the little ball. "I enjoy your company too BB-8 but I want you to be somewhere happy with Poe and Finn. I'm no fun here." BB-8 let out a sad beep and Rey never thought she could be so emotional over a droid.

"Goodbye buddy, enjoying being with Poe again. I'll see you again soon don't worry, I'm not saying goodbye forever." Rey said this to BB-8 but she knew the others knew she was also speaking to them. Rising from the ground she gave them all heartfelt hugs.

"Stay in touch okay? Don't be such as stranger." Poe mumbled in the hug.

"Poe," Rey called out as they turned to walk back to their speeders, "please tell Finn I'm truly sorry. I'm just going through a few things I can't explain to myself let alone anyone else." Poe gave her a genuine smile, nodding his head sincerely.

She watched them zoom off in a cloud of dust and sand. Rey was getting better at goodbyes and she didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. She's never felt as out of touch with her emotions as she has these past 3 months.

She knew she should be in total control of her emotions, that letting herself be out of control doesn't typically have a good ending. She remembers General Organa telling her to try and meditate when she's feeling lost and out of control. The sun was setting, omitting the calmest array of colours in the sky. She was so use to the bright orange sunsets but this one had soft shades of blue, purple and pinks.

Sitting right where she was standing, Rey let the calm take over. "Be with me," she spoke softly, "Be with me. Be with me. Be with me." Saying this enough works her into an almost trance like state. She hears the distant voices of the Jedi before her.

"Ben. Where's Ben? Is he there?" Rey waited a few seconds. "Why is Ben gone?"

"No one's ever really gone." The faint sound of Master Skywalkers words echoed around her head.

"If no one's ever really gone where is Ben? I can't reach him." Rey heard her voice crack in her throat.

"No one's ever really gone." Master Skywalker said again and again and again until Rey snapped.
Shooting up Rey ignited her lightsaber, she knows this isn't how she should deal with her emotions but it was the only way she knew right now. Swinging vigorously, left, right, plunging forward. It helped but it didn't fulfill her rage and sadness. She took to a nearby moisture vaporator, swinging violently. The metal was hard to strike through, enraging Rey even more.

"Where's Ben! Where's Ben! Where's Ben! WHERE'S BEN!!" She screamed with one last blow, the voporator slicing right in two. The scream was so harsh Rey was sure she would have a shaky voice for days to come.

Unwilling to hold it back anymore Rey crumpled onto the ground. Tears flowing so fast she couldn't see her fingers in front of her face. She cried until her eyes were dry and her sobs were silent. Leaving her the most vulnerable she'd been in a long time.

"You miss me little Palpatine?" the voice was back.

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There's going to be multiple updates this week, hope you're keen!! Also please, please, pleasseee leave comments so I know how you're liking/disliking this so far!