Love and Leather [Alec Lightwood x Reader] + gifs ✓

22. Distance

You were sitting in your room, thinking back at what Alec said to you about him being powerless when you got attacked. You were angry at him for thinking in such a childish way, but it wasn't a good enough reason for you to give up on him. You decided to go and search for him.

First you went to his room, but after a few minutes of knocking, you realised he probably wasn't in. Then you visited his office, but it was completely empty. You walked to the cafeteria hoping to find him there, munching on his dinner, but once again he wasn't found. As a last option you started towards the hall. Luckily you found him at one of the computers, searching for some files on the server.

"Hey." You greeted him and he nodded in reply, not even looking at you. "Are you busy now?" You asked. He repeated the same movement without a word. "Do you think maybe you have time a bit later?" You tried again. This time he decided to look at you.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I am very busy today. Maybe another time." He replied and turned back to the screen. You stood there for a couple of seconds looking at Alec's profile, then decided to head to the cafeteria to eat something and visit your parabatai.

*

Two days later you tried your luck again. You started searching for the eldest Lightwood sibling and soon enough you found him in his office going through some files with a serious expression sitting across his face. You were thinking about walking away and not interrupting him, but then you wanted to see him, so you decided otherwise.

"Hey." You waved at him from the doorway. He just nodded in response without looking up from his paperwork. "I was thinking maybe you had time today to do something?" You smiled, hoping for the best. But he didn't react. "Ahoy." You said acting as a pirate to get his attention. You laughed at your attempt.

"Sorry, what did you say?" He looked up at you in daze. You could see that he was very much focused on whatever he was doing.

"I just asked if you maybe had time today to do something together." You repeated yourself. Although by the look on his face, you already knew the answer.

"Look, I wish I could, but I really am busy right now. Let's find another time." He said and turned back towards his paperwork.

"Yeah, that's cool." You replied casually, but inside you were hurting. You wanted to spend some time with him, but he didn't seem to feel the same way. You promised him not to interfere with his work and so you tried to keep your words, but it was more difficult, than you imagined. You needed Izzy to avert your thoughts from Alec, so you headed towards her room.

*

The following day you walked to Alec's room early on the morning hoping to catch him without any of his works. You knocked on the door a couple of times before you could hear his tired voice letting you in.

"Morning." You smiled at him, but to your surprise he was sitting at his table going through some files, once again. "You work a lot." You stated simply. He looked up at you finally acknowledging your presence.

"I know. I am so tired." He rubbed the bridge of his nose as an act to wake himself up.

"Then let's do something away from your paperwork." You suggested, but he just shook his head.

"Believe me, I wish I had time, but I have to finish these." He replied tiredly.

"I know Alec, but you don't have to kill yourself working." You reminded him that he needed to have a life, not just going through a bunch of paperwork. "Let me help you and then we can go out to relax." You offered, but once again he just shook his head.

"No, it's fine. We will do it next time." However you didn't accept his answer. You walked up to him and took a couple of papers laying on top of another pile of files. You were about to sit down to help him, when he grabbed your hand. You were surprised as it wasn't just a gentle move to stop you, he was holding on to you almost painfully. You looked in his eyes and you could only see anger and frustration in them. "Put them down." He growled and forced your hand to open up, dropping the papers on top of where it came from.

"I just wanted to help." You frowned at his behaviour.

"And I said no." His tone was scary and you decided to just leave. You stood in the door for a couple of seconds looking at Alec's serious expression, but you soon realised that he needed space. Space that he already had unfortunately. You didn't know how to act and what to do around Alec anymore. You started to search for Izzy to ask her to practice. You needed to get rid of your frustration.

*

You have given Alec three days to get all his shit together, so this time you left your room with an unknown determination. You wanted to force the eldest Lightwood brother to put those files away to the farthest corner of his room and let loose a bit.

"Morning." You opened the door to his office without knocking. You didn't even wait for a reply or a greeting. You walked up to him hoovering over some papers. You put your hands on top of the files before he could even move them and you waited for him to look up to you.

"What are you doing?" He asked frowning at your strange behaviour. "I am trying to work here." He hissed in anger.

"And I am fed up!" You replied in the same tone. "You told me you would give me a chance and the Angels know how happy that made me. But since we came back from the mission, it's not that you don't give me a chance, you don't even talk to me." You ranted. "I do not know what has changed and to be honest I don't even care anymore. I have been trying to get you out of here, initiating dates with you, but I am being continuously pushed away. I am not a toy that you take out whenever you want to play with it." Your anger grew as all your thoughts which you wanted to tell to Alec has started to come together.

"I think, correct me if I am wrong, I told you that I'd only give this a chance if it didn't interfere with my work." He explained this time in a calm manner.

"I remember well, but you work 24/7." You tried to argue your point.

"And you knew that before too, but you still agreed." He replied casually. His tone of voice and careless attitude annoyed you.

"Yes, but I thought you would make some time at least. Or how did you imagine it? That we would go for a date in every leap-year?" In your desperation you could only turn to your sarcasm.

"I am sorry if the circumstances are not pleasant for you, but that is how it is." The way he talked to you was so formal, you didn't even recognise him as someone you were supposed to be dating. You sighed and hid your face in your hands. It was too painful. You finally got a chance but before you could have enjoyed it, it got taken away.

"Fine." You looked into Alec's deep dark eyes. You knew that your eyes showed pain, but you also knew that he would have never recognised it. You turned around and without a second thought you left. That was it for the two of you.