Love and Leather [Alec Lightwood x Reader] + gifs ✓

27. Confusion

When you left Alec's infirmary room, you straight headed to your own bedroom. You were angry, fuming, confused. You didn't know what that whole scene was all about and you definitely didn't understand Alec's decision. You knew that on some occasions Shadowhunters were being ordered not to attend to a mission, but even when it happened, it meant they had some kind of an involvement with the enemy such as someone with a previously close tie to the Circle. You were thinking hard and deep, but you just couldn't find the reason behind the eldest Lightwood sibling's choice. You couldn't remember a single thing that could have tied you to the vampire attacks or the vampire clan themselves. You were far from knowing anything about them. 

As you were sitting in front of your table - looking into your mirror - trying to understand Alec, your parabatai's dark hair appeared in the reflection as she was trying to slip into your room without your knowledge. 

"You do realise I can see you in the mirror, right?" She jumped hearing your voice. She didn't expect you to see her slyly sneaking in behind your back. 

"Now I do." She replied innocently, but you just laughed at her fake act. She sat down at the end of your bed, on the floor and waited for you to look at her. You decided to turn around and focus your attention on Izzy. "I saw you coming out of Alec's room." You nodded in response. "It didn't seem like, you've had a pleasant conversation." She stated and was waiting for you to enlighten her. 

"You see it was actually." You corrected her. "I have not felt so free around him for such a long time. I completely forgot how well we got along before I started having feelings for him. But once again it was like before. Just simple and fun." You smiled while thinking back, but then as quick as it came, it disappeared. "But something changed." Izzy frowned at your quick subject change. "He first asked me not to attend to the missions against the vampires. On top of that he didn't even explain why, just expected me to accept it. And if that wasn't enough, after I disagreed with him, he decided to change this apparent "favour" to an order, because he is the head of the Institute and he can do it." You laughed sourly. "What is wrong with him? Did he hit his head along the way?" It was only a rhetorical question, but God you started slowly thinking if it indeed happened. 

"I love my brother, but sometimes I just don't get him." She shook her head. "However, you also know that he wouldn't just make a decision like that, out of thin air. He might have a really good reason." She explained, and deep under your rebelling-self, you knew she was right. 

"So what am I supposed to do now? Should I really not get involved?" You asked. You needed some advice, because you were clearly incapable of making a decision in that moment. 

"I mean, I think you shouldn't." She nodded. "As much as he can be an ass, he wouldn't just ask you something like that for no reason."

"But then why?" You asked frowning at your reflection in the mirror. 

"I really have no idea." She shook her head. "But I could ask him for you. He might just tell me." As much as you hated using your parabatai, you needed to know what was going on. 

"Fine." You agreed. "Just let me know what you got from him." You asked. 

"I will do that." A gentle smile spread across her face. "Besides, it made me curious too." She chuckled and you joined her on it. You knew she liked to know things, even when they didn't necessarily had anything to do with her. 

"You would have surprised me, if it didn't." You rolled your eyes with a smile still sitting across your face. You just got a shrug from your parabatai in response. 

"Where will you be patrolling tomorrow night?" She asked changing the subject. 

"Not sure, I still have to check the rota." You explained. "I was supposed to go with Jace, but last minute Clary got available too and so they were paired up. As far as I remember, I am going out alone tonight.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" She asked frowning. It was indeed rare that Shadowhunters went out alone, but then patrol wasn't as dangerous as a mission itself. "I mean the vampires are still causing trouble. What if you run into them? I don't think it's smart to go alone." She explained and to be honest you completely agreed with her. However Hodge, who has done the schedule, knew his job well and you would have never disputed it.

"It's cool. It's just patrol." You shrugged it off.

"Yes, it is just patrol, however I know my brother, Y/N. So do you. He doesn't just come up with random orders unless he thinks that something is wrong. And he wouldn't have asked you not to do something, instead of straight away ordering you, if he wanted to argue with you about it. And if indeed something is wrong, you should definitely avoid being alone." She was quite convincing and you had to accept that Alec indeed wasn't the kind of person who used his position to order people around. However his behaviour was strange and you were a very hot-headed person, especially when you didn't agree with someone. You sat there thinking for a little while before replying. 

"Fine, I will not go on a mission when it comes to the vampires, until it's all sorted. However you can not stop me from going on other missions and do simple patrols." Izzy was thinking hard, but she couldn't argue with you. Alec asked you not to accept the missions relating to the clan, but he never asked you to stop attending other missions or even patrolling the city. 

"I still don't think it's a good idea, but I can understand where you are coming from." She agreed. 

"Just don't worry too much. You are worse than my mother." You chuckled and she pushed your shoulder with her fist before crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Love you too." You said while hugging her sulking frame.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She simply replied and you just squeezed her harder.