Turning Page♥ (Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfic)[Book 2]

Training

After the whole event that had occurred early in the day, we all had separated. Allison was off having another secret meeting with Scott, Stiles was spending some time with his dad, and even though he invited me to go along, I decided to spend some time by myself. 

I was going to use my time to get back to training. 

The whole incident with Jackson in the locker room made me realize even though I'm an Alpha, I stopped training. I stopped pushing myself. I mean how do you hope to improve yourself if you don't push yourself? 

So right now I was using the doorway into my living room as a means to do pull ups. After the thirtieth pull up, I let go and jumped back to the floor. I took a couple of deep breaths before grabbing a thing of water. I remember when I could do about a hundred in a row without getting tired. I guess it had been a while since I actually was the real me. 

I took a deep breath before going over to my punching bag that I had set up in my living room and starting to spare with it. I tried keeping focused on my breathing and not loosing control. I closed my eyes and started repeating something Tamaki, my old Alpha, use to tell me to say in order to keep control and my anger in check. 

Only I have control over what I am. 

I kept repeating that to myself as I kept on punching the bag. All though this was supposed to be helping me, I found myself getting angrier and angrier, I felt...

I felt the monster coming out. 

I just stared at the punching bag, suddenly seeing flashes of red. I held onto my head, feeling this sudden pain. I yelled out for a quick second before starting to breath heavenly, dropping to my knees and ripping off my gloves. I looked down at my hands and saw my claws coming out. I closed my eyes while trying my best to keep control. 

"One who has control over their emotions, has great power over those who don't." I reminded myself before repeating my little quote to help myself keep calm. "Only I have control over what I am. Only I have control over what I am. Only I...-" I repeated to myself over and over until suddenly I felt this sudden pain urging through me. 

What the hell was happening to me? 

I sprawled out on the floor, feeling the shift overtaking me. What the hell was happening? I yelled in pain before trying to calm down until I crawled over to my bag and opened it up. I took a couple of deep breaths before grabbing the water bottle i had mixed with wolfsbane and chugging it down. I started coughing as it burned my throat and slowly kept me from turning. 

I dont know what the hell happened. 

I guess I forgot to take my dose of wolfsbane to keep my secret well a secret today. But with everything happening, the more it seems like a better idea to let my secret out. After all, I can't keep this up much longer. All though I'm an Alpha, I can't do this anymore. I can't stop forcing myself to not shift. It's in my nature... 

To deny myself from shifting any longer might actually kill me.