Love of My Life

Promise

We are in Barcelona, Spain preparing to kick off the start of our European tour. We are excited that we sold out Camp Nou two days in a row. Ever since we unveiled our 7 album in February, it has been non-stop for us. I've read somewhere that we've broken our own records in every category.

We're all enjoying every moment. However, it can be exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally to keep up with a grueling schedule. I'm really blessed to have my 6 brothers with me, my family, the ARMY and now Rose by my side. I finally found the missing part of the puzzle. It's not as lonely up top.

I hope all of my brothers discover their missing puzzles, so they don't get lonely, grappling with the shadows of fame.

We're having dinner on the terrace of our suite. This time we are staying at the Mandarin Oriental. Everyone is missing Korean food so our manager went out to get korean food for dinner.

We have a beautiful view of Barcelona at night. Everyone is looking over the rooftop terrace of our hotel room, but here I am, thinking about Rose while sitting on a lounge chair waiting for dinner.

Her plane probably landed in Bangkok already. I try not to call her a lot because I know she needs to rest on her free time.

I haven't seen her for about a month. As promise, she mailed me a pink plush toy to sleep with me at night and sent me interesting selfies every night. Mostly funny ones and few provocative ones that I use to "calm my nerves down" at night.

***

We're back stage congratulating each other and the staff for another successful concert in the bag.

We were driving back to the hotel, and the SUV stopped on a red light.

I sent Rose a text.

I miss you 💜🙁

I was waiting for an answer from her when I caught a glimpse of a hooded pedestrian crossing the street in front of us. The pedestrian who was wearing a red hooded jacket, momentarily stared at our car. A peculiar feeling took over me. The person looked familiar. I can't be certain, but I saw a fan on the crowd with the same red hooded jacket on the front row when we were performing earlier on stage.

I must be tired. I need to have some zzzz. I ignored this funny feeling and decided to close my eyes.

***

It's 1:15 am and I just finished taking a shower. I put on a white cotton shirt and a gray flannel pajama bottom. I hopped into bed and dialed Rose's number.

It's 7:15 am in Bangkok and Rose has a day off today.

Her angelic face finally appeared on my screen. She was half-awake but even more bewitching than the last time I saw her.

"Joh-eun achim." I greeted her with a wave.

She answered me with her Australian accent, "You must be tired.  Go to sleep.  I don't want you to get sick.  You just finished your concert and you must be exhausted."

I understood her as I've improved a lot with my English and she probably didn't realize she was not speaking in Korean.

"I just wanted to see your face so I could have the wettest dream." I answered her in my best attempt in English.

She was giggling. "I can't. I don't know if you got lost in translation or you're being borderline pervy. Either way, it's cute."

She chided in Korean. "Seriously. GO. TO. SLEEP. BTW, I sent you some natural tea and honey for your throat and some lavender spray to help you sleep at night. Hopefully, it can also bring down your horniness a notch."

"Hmmm. If I could remember clearly, I wasn't the only one. Let me remind you of your text a few hours ago."

I copied her aegyo voice and mocked her. "Tae, do you think we could video chat in the morning Bangkok time with your shirt off. I miss your abs a lot."

I could see her blushing on the screen and completely ignored me. "See you in Maldives."

She hung up the call. I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

***

I woke up at 12 noon to Jimin jumping on my bed. He really has so much energy!

"Tae, we're going out to eat. Want to come?"

"Let me go take a shower and change." I rushed to the bathroom to do so.

***

We're sitting waiting for our food in this restaurant called Disfrutar. Never been here, but one of the staff suggested to try it. We're seated on a secluded outside patio with no other guest. Really cozy.

While waiting for our food, I decided to open up to everyone on the table what I'm planning to do in Maldives.

"Umm, I spoke to my dad a week ago and I spoke to him about Rose in length." That got the attention of everyone on the table that everyone put their phones down.

Since I have the floor, I continued. "He didn't give me any relationship advice.  He listened and he reassured me that I'll know when the right person is in front of me. I've never said I love you to Rose, not because I don't feel it.  I've never said it, because I wasn't comfortable in offering myself to her.  I feel that I'm still lacking with a lot of things , and I really want to work harder to be a better person for her. I know I don't deserve her, but I want to confess to her in Maldives." I looked around and everyone has their eyes so big and their mouths hanging open.

Hyung Hoseok broke the silence."I'm happy for you, my man. You caught us by surprise because we didn't think you guys were this serious. We've always thought that you would have a hard time dating because you're a unique soul. Besides, isn't it a bit too early?" Hyung Hoseok never fails to be reasonable.

Hyung Namjoon who is naturally insightful, disagreed. "Sometimes, the right person for us to love if we're lucky enough, can come once in a lifetime. When two fates collide, even when we think it's too early or the timing is not right, you can't stop it. Like what has happened to us, you have to embrace it wholeheartedly. It will not be easy for you or for Rose, but if this is your fate, don't let us stop you. Don't let anyone stop you."