The Meaning

Prologue

My name is Cain. Before you jump to any conclusions, no I'm not religious, I don't believe in God. But my mom and dad were firm believers. My name came from my mother, she always liked the story of Cain and Able. I'm not gonna tell the whole story, because that's not why I'm writing this and this is not why you're reading this. So my father didn't really have a say in the naming part. They were firm believers until  8 years ago when both of them died in a car accident coming home from the shops. I was 8 at the time, sitting at home in front of the computer playing videogames and watching stupid videos waiting for my parents to come home with the groceries, but sadly they never did. 2 hours after the accident two policemen knocked on the door, and they told me that I need to come with them. I don't think they had the balls to break the news to me that my parents died, so they just took me to the police station and handed me off to a counselor or whatever. He sat next to me and told me I had to identify two bodies. I still for the life of me didn't know what he was on about. But as a naive 8 year old I said okay. He led me to the police morgue, it was just like in the movies except much scarier and colder than I  imagined. There were two bodies on two seperate tables both covered with a white sheet. I was standing above the bodies wanting to get it over with so I can go back home. The counselor and the pathologist shared brief eye contact, they knew what was coming, I didn't. The pathologist pulled the sheets off the bodies and I saw their faces, both totally blank without any emotion. It hit me hard and cold, I couldn't move, say or do anything for that matter. I just froze, they were patiently waiting for my answer, the counselor put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at both of them, I'll never forget their faces. The pathologist was old, experienced both in life and his work, the counselor on the other hand was still young in his late 30s maybe. But they both had the same look. The exact same look, the look of empathy and sadness with a hint of impatience. They wanted to end this moment, they wanted their answer, so I just nodded, that was all I could do. Then my life went haywire. 4 families rejected me after a few weeks, because I didn't really do anything they would expect from "their" child. I didn't say mom or dad to them, I didn't say I loved them. I don't really know what they were expecting, maybe they were victims of false advertisement, maybe they never got told that this kid's parents died in a car accident not so long ago, so I never blamed them for rejecting me. But the 5th time I got adopted worked out, they gave me time to get familiar with the situation, they let me process my feelings, so eventually I learnt to love them and I still do, they're great people but I don't really live with them anymore. They got me into a private high school after 9th grade which is really expensive and they have dorms which is kind of rare. But I really should get to the point, I like to waffle about everything so I'm sorry if this is not important. But your assistant said that I should write a kind of introduction, I hope this will do.

So why I wanted to talk to you is a dream or a nightmare maybe I don't know. I keep having it almost every night. I'm at a police crime scene and I'm walking towards a dead body, I think I am the detective. The dead body is me. And I always wake up when I see my face. Honestly it just creeps me out. 

I heard you're the best psychologist there is, so I'm hoping you'll accept my case Dr. Richter.

(Ahh... it's done.) *he looks at the clock and starts stretching and yawning* (It's 3 AM... I better go to sleep.)