The Meaning

6: Connections

It's January 8th. Cain's feeling better and better. Now that he decided to open up, he feels free of a shackle that held him down. Kelly's back in his life and he's happy about it. They should never have broken their friendship like that. He realised one stupid decision or mistake can destroy everything. One thing that's been bugging him is Bailey's absence. She isn't in the school. No one's seen her or heard of her in the last three days. He's worried that she might have moved schools or maybe something bad happened to her. He decides to investigate. Maybe he can find out something from the principal of the school. So after school, he goes to the principal's office. His assistant tells Cain that he's currently having a meeting with parents so he might have to wait for a bit. He sits down.
The principal's name is Clark Polter. He's a man in his 40s with balding hair. He doesn't really look like a person with authority because he's about 5'4. Some people call him the principal of midgets. After about 10 minutes, the parents leave and he comes out with them and says goodbye. He looks at Cain. 

Clark: Well, what have you done that you're here. 
Cain: Actually nothing sir-
He cuts him off.
Clark: Everyone who ends up here says that.
Cain: I mean I'm not here for disciplinary reasons, sir.
Clark: Oh... then why are you here?
Cain: I wanted to ask you something about a student.
Clark: Well, come in. 
Cain follows him into his office. Clark points at the chair. Cain sits down. 
Clark: About who? 
Cain: Bailey Houston. I would like to know where she is, if that's possible, sir.
Clark: Well, it's kind of confidential. Is she a friend of yours? A girlfriend maybe?
Cain feels a bit embarassed hearing the word, girlfriend.
Cain: She's a friend. I'm just worried that something happened to her after the accident.
Clark: You don't have to worry, she's fine. She's been... uh let's say suspended for a few months. But don't take that literally. Bailey and her parents asked for permission for Bailey to be absent until... *starts looking at papers* early April. But I can't tell you why. I hope this is fair enough.
Cain feels relieved. 
Cain: Totally fair, sir thank you!
Clark: You're welcome.
Cain stands up and starts heading out of the office.
Cain: Goodbye sir!

As he's heading to Richter's office, he notices that he feels really happy. He's glad that his life is getting better. It was about damn time too. He gets a message from Diana telling him that when he arrives just simply come into the office. So when he gets there, he does exactly that. As he steps in he sees a random guy talking to Diana. 
Cain: Am I too early...? 
Diana: Hello Cain! No, this is Oliver, an old friend of mine. 
Cain and Oliver shake hands.
Cain: Nice to meet you! My name's Cain Cooper. 
Oliver: You too! Name's Oliver Grail.
Oliver and Diana go back to looking at a paper.
Diana: So if you write that, it should make you look a lot more confident.
Cain sits down and waits patiently.
Oliver: Okay. Thanks very much. 
Diana: Absolutely no problem. 
Cain notices Oliver looking at Diana like she's a chest full of gold. 
(Oliver, you cheeky bastard.)
Oliver: Well I'll be off then. 
Diana: Alright. 
They hug each other and Oliver starts heading towards the door.
Oliver: Bye Cain!
Cain: Bye.
Cain makes sure he left.
Cain: What did he want, if you don't mind me asking.
Diana is sorting papers.
Diana: He was passing by, and he wanted to ask my opinion about his CV. 
Cain: And uh... does he often passes by? 
Diana looks up and starts thinking.
Diana: Yeah, quite often actually.
Cain starts smiling suggestively. 
Diana: What?
Cain's smile widens.
Diana: What?!
Cain bursts out laughing.
Diana: What is it?! Tell me!
Cain: You'll get it eventually. 
Diana groans. 
Diana: I'm gonna finish packing and then we can start the session. 
Cain: Okay. *starts tapping with his fingers on the table* How was your day? 
Diana: Quite... *stretching to put something on a high shelf* stressful.
Cain: Do you need help? 
Diana: No... I can do it. 
She loses her balance and pulls off a bunch of papers and dossiers.
Cain stands up to help her up. 
Diana: Under stressful... This is what I mean. Argh!
Cain helps her up, and starts putting the papers and dossiers back on the shelf. 
Cain: Are you always this reluctant to let others help you?
Diana: I'm not reluctant. I just always think that I can sort everything out on my own.
Cain: Ah, I see. 
Cain put everything back.
Cain: There we are.
Diana: Thank you very much!
Cain nods.
Cain: Is there anything else you need to sort?
Diana: Nah, I think this is it. 
They both sit down.
Diana: So, how was your day then? 
Cain: It was fine. And now I honestly mean that. 
Diana: How come?
Cain: Well in the winter break I realised that I'll be better off out of my shell. So I left it. I opened up a bit. Sorted a few things and now I'm happier than I was. 
Diana: You went against Dr. Richter's advice, which was the right decision in my opinion. 
Cain: So far, I think so too. 
Diana: What have you sorted out?
Cain: The family got a little bit closer. I understood why my sister left the family. She is lesbian and she was scared about our parents' reaction. So she just left. I sorted out my relationship with Kelly. We are back to being friends. She lied to me about reason for kicking me out of her life. It turns out she was in love with me. She still is. But we agreed to remain friends for the time being. 
Diana: Alright. So, there is something that still needs to be put in order? 
Cain: Yeah. That someoneI met, her name is Bailey and she overdosed the day I first came here. We had an argument in the hospital. I have to face the fact that I care about her and there is no going back. So I have to tell her that...
Cain stops, he can't openly admit it yet.
Diana: You love her, don't you?
Cain: I think so. But that has to wait. She has been suspended, she can come back in April. So that's when I can talk to her. I won't look  for her, cause she might need some time, and I don't want to bother her.
Diana: This is good. You came a long way it seems. You can finally admit that it's better to open up and you took interest in someone. What about the dreams?
Cain: I had one. It was really weird. It was me in a room with all the people I knew and had some kind of relationship with. Everybody was talking in groups, I went over and tried talking to them, but it was like I wasn't even there. No one seemed to notice me. Then another... version I guess of me appeared. But that version was bleeding, and his clothes were wet and muddy. He told me that I will become him and I will be alone eventually. 
Diana: That's probably just your subconscious reacting to you opening up, deep down you were really scared, so your mind tried to push you back. But you fought it. You did great.
Cain: I just hope that it won't come true. 
Diana: It won't. Don't worry. Has anything cleared up about the memories from when your parents died?
Cain: It's still really hard to remember anything really specific. 
Diana: Well you remember that the counselor's surname starts with the letter C, so focus on that.
Cain: I almost have this feeling that it's really obvious and I should remember it. 
Diana: Hmm... maybe if I tell you something related to this, it might kickstart your memory. So I'm from Arizona as well and my dad worked for the police also as a counselor-
Cain: Wait...
It suddenly hits Cain. The counselor's surname was Cross. 
(How did I not remember that? I'm talking to the counselor's daughter who was there when my parents died. Holy shit. Maybe I could  finally thank him.)
Diana: What?
Cain: His name was... Cross. I think it was your father.
Diana is shocked. Her expression is not one emotion, it's a few emotions pressed into one.
Diana: Are you...*gulps* sure?
Cain: Yeah, it's clear now. I don't know how I didn't remember it sooner. I wanted to thank him for being so kind to me. Is that possible? 
He notices that she's not really listening, she's staring at the table in front of her. 
Cain: Is everything okay?
Diana: My dad is... uh.. he died when I was 18. 
Cain's overwhelmed with guilt and compassion. 
Cain: Oh my god... I'm so sorry. I didn't know.
Diana: It's not your fault. It's just I... moved on. You know what it's like. You have to move on, otherwise it will just eat you up. 
Cain: Yeah... It's a shame... he was a good person. 
Diana: Well... if we're talking about this. Do you want to know how I got here?
Cain: Yeah, sure.
Diana: My dad was always scared of dying suddenly. My father and Richter were good friends from school. So 2 days before his death, he really felt something bad's gonna happen. He always wanted me to become a psychologist. I wasn't so sure that I want to be one. So because he was scared that his death is close, he wrote a letter to Richter asking him to take me under his wing, so I can learn the trick of the trade. So after he died, Richter came to Arizona from here. He talked to me about this. I felt the need to grant my dad's wish, so I accepted the offer. Eight years later I'm here nearly ready to become a fully pledged psychologist. 
Cain: That's why you thought you don't deserve to be here? 
Diana: Yes. I got here because my dad asked Richter to teach me. 
Cain: From when I first met you I had the impression that you were an 18 year old on the inside. But now I can see why I thought that.
Diana: What do you mean? 
Cain: You had a tragedy, and maybe your mind, in order to cope with the loss, hibernated itself, so you're still part 18 year old. 
Diana: It seems you could be a psychologist. 
They laugh. 
Cain: It's a small world it seems. 
Diana: Is this fate, you think? 
Cain: Maybe. If there is a God, he sure does work in misterious ways. 
They look each other in the eye. 
Cain: Are you okay? 
Diana: Yeah, I'm just shocked.
Cain: You know... I think you could use some... fun, so to speak. In April some people from the school are throwing a party. It's a private party, so only invitations, but a few people can bring plus ones. If you want to, you can be my plus one. What do you say? 
Diana: Ehh.. I don't know. Never been the one to party. 
Cain: Me neither. Come on, it'll be fun.
Diana: I'm 26, I'm too old for it.
Cain: You act like an 18 year old, and you look like a 14 year old.
Diana: *raises her eyebrows* Do I...? 
Cain: Yeah. You'll be fine. Come on. Some time off never hurt anyone. 
Diana: *sighs* Alright. 
Cain: Good. 
Cain's starting to feel a little bit dizzy and nauseous. 
Cain: Would you mind if we cut this short? I feel a bit sick. 
Diana: Actually no, I don"t mind. You improved, so much, so quickly that we don't really have anything to talk about. Go and rest. 
Cain: Thanks, that means a lot. 
Diana smiles, both of them stand up. 
Diana: Maybe fate has something planned for us. 
Cain: Maybe it does. 
Diana: Meetings will be a lot more spread out now. We just have to monitor how you're doing, so I'll message you, when you should come back.
Cain: Okay. Great talking to you. Bye, Diana!
Diana: Bye Cain!

As he's walking home listening to music he passes an alley. But as he passes he stops and walks back.
Cain: *whispers* This looks... familiar. 
It was the same alley, he saw in his dream. But something was missing.
Cain: *whispers* Weird...
He starts walking again.
(How come I never noticed this? Is this my subconscious playing with me again? I'm feeling dizzier and dizzier. I need to get home.) 
He stops at a crossing, waiting for the light to turn green, so he can pass. On the other side, there's a person also waiting to cross. It's quite dark, so he can only work out that it's a he. The lamp turns green, so he starts walking across, they are next to each other when he can finally get a look at his face. It's the version of him from his dream. They pass each other and when he turns around to look at him, he's already gone. Vanished into thin air. He standing in the middle of the crossing. He's completely frozen. He shivers. Out of nowhere a car driver honks at him, it startles him.
Driver: ARE YOU DRUNK?! MOVE!
Cain just looks at the driver and continues walking. He just wants to get home, so he can rest. He doesn't want to think about this. Maybe it's just because he feels ill. He's without an answer, but this time he doesn't really care.