The Meaning

12: Overwhelmed

Cain attempted suicide. He has been tied to the bed, and precautions have been taken. It's a day later and he's been staring out the window all day, he hasn't said a word to anyone. 
Dream Cain: So... tied down. Kinda kinky.
No answer.
Dream Cain: You think ignoring me is a good option?
Still no answer.
Dream Cain: You can't ignore your thoughts, and right now I am your thoughts.
Cain sighs.
Dream Cain: Was it a mistake? Do you really think it was? I thought you agreed with me.
Cain closes his eyes.
Dream Cain: *shouting* Sleep won't help either! Your guilt and sadness won't pass while you sleep!
Cain yawns.
Dream Cain: You really are trying to switch your mind off. News flash, you can't. 

Suddenly Diana enters the room. Cain opens his eyes and narrows them at Diana.
Diana: Hi, I came as quickly as I could. Bailey told me and Monica everything. Monica will come in after work today. She is really angry at you.
Cain: Noted. Will Bailey come back?
Diana looks down.
Diana: I don't think so. 
Cain nods with a frown on his face.
Cain: Did Monica tell mom?
Diana: No. She wants her to have some rest after the tragedy.
Diana: Oh, and Bailey wanted you to know that Kelly is fine, she wasn't even at school for 3 days. So she was at the dorm and only heard the shots.
Cain: Yeah, I knew she was sick. Thank you, now I can be sure she's okay.
Diana: Don't mention it.
They look at each other in silence for a few seconds, then Diana sits down and  breaks the ice.
Diana: Why did you do it?
Cain scoffs.
Diana: What?
Cain: A good friend of mine died, I never said thanks to him for sticking by my side. Oh and I was the one to kill him. Plus I chased away the most important person in my life. Pretty alright tally, don't you think?
Diana: How did the idea come?
Cain rolls his eyes.
Cain: It just seemed easier I guess. *annoyed tone* Did you come here to ask me stupid questions?
Diana: *offended tone* Of course not, what makes you ask that?
Cain: *sighs* I'm sorry. They've asked me stupid questions for basically a whole day after my attempt. Questions that are not even relevant to why I tried to do it or just simply nonsense questions. Like, do you feel melancholic, stressed, sad, troubled? *laughs* No I just thought it would be fun to cut my arm open. 
Diana: How are you now?
Cain: Could you please just be yourself? Right now, I don't need a psychologist. 
Diana: Okay. 
Cain: Thank you. *smiles* 
Diana: I see they took extreme measures. *glances at the straps*
Cain: Yeah... they stripped the whole room of anything dangerous. I spoke to the police about what happened, they informed the hospital, now I am being treated as a murderer. They took everything sharp and all the stuff that can be potential weapons, so they can make sure that I don't try it again. The straps aren't here to keep me safe from myself, they are to keep nurses and doctors and visitors from being murdered by me. I even got a security guard to totally make sure I don't start a serial killer business in here. But I feel like I deserve this kind of treatment. 
Diana: Do you really think that?
Cain: Yeah... I had no right to take his life and I didn't have to. 
Diana: Wasn't Mickey the one who attacked you?
Cain: Technically no. He wanted to let me go, but wanted to kill Bailey. 
Diana: But then, he decided to kill you too...
Cain grits his teeth.
Cain: Yeah.
Diana: It was self-defence then.
Cain: Still, I  had the option of just simply knocking him out.
Diana: Then what happened?
Cain: Heat of the moment... Coudn't think straight and I just acted upon that impulse.
Diana: What was your reaction after?
Cain: I got off of him, stumbled back in shock, then I... I...
Cain starts breathing heavily and covers his face with his hands in distress, then he softly says.
Cain: No psychologist... didn't we agree?
Diana: But I want to help.
Cain looks at Diana.
Cain: *raises his voice* You can do that as a simple civilian, goddamnit!
The security guard enters the room and looks at Diana.
Security guard: Is everything okay, ma'am?
Cain interrupts. 
Cain: I'm fucking strapped to a bed, what am I going to do? I can't raise my voice? 
Security guard looks at Cain with despise.
Security guard: Don't get smart.
Cain: Will you beat me up? I'm still a patient here and I'm pretty sure that's against the laws.
The guard shakes his head and leaves.
Cain: Asshole.
Looks at Diana.
Cain: Look... right now, I just can't talk  while being observed, you get me? If you could just simply listen and try to make a counter argument like a friend rather than analyse me like a psychologist, that would be really great.
Diana: Sorry...
Cain: Don't sweat it.
Diana: This is out of my personal curiousity. Do you regret trying to kill yourself?
Cain: It was a mistake. I realised that I don't want to die. I still have a bunch of things to do. 
Dream Cain: Like Bailey *laughs histerically* Yes, I'm still here. 
Cain turns his head towards him. Diana notices.
Diana squints her eyes in suspicion.
Diana: So... the idea just came to mind?
Cain: Yeah. 
Diana: There wasn't anyone who told you to do it? Like maybe a vision of someone?
Dream Cain: She can't know I'm here.
Cain: I don't understand.
Diana: You had a dream a while back, where you saw yourself. Maybe you don't just see him in your dreams now. Maybe he's here right now.
Dream Cain: She's a smart cookie. We might be busted. I'd say don't tell her, what good will that do?
Cain: No... no, nothing like that. 
Diana: Hmm... Alright, if you say so. What exactly happened?
Cain: Well... I broke a glass and I cut into my left forearm. Fortunately a nurse noticed. I lost so much blood, they told me I was actually dead for a few seconds, which is quite weird to think about. 
Diana: Jesus... 
Cain: I know. Okay let's change the subject. How is your relationship going with Monica? 
Diana: We're taking it slow, we don't really want to hurry with it. You know... baby steps. *blushes*
Cain: I'm happy life brought you together. 
Diana: It wasn't life. It was you. 
Cain: What can I say? I'm too good. 
They laugh. 
Cain: How are you coping? 
Diana: What do you mean?
Cain: Well with Richter's passing and everything.
Diana: Better than I thought I will. Monica helps a lot.
Cain: Glad to hear that.
Diana locks at the clock on the wall. 
Diana: Holy shit! I'm gonna have to go. I have some stuff to sort out. 
Cain: Look at you... the psychologist. 
Diana: Brace yourself, Monica will probably take your head off. 
Cain: I'm ready. Well bye, come by when you can. 
Diana: Will do. 
She says that while looking at Cain and backing towards the door, she turns around and slams into the door. Cain laughs, Diana as embarassed as she can be, leaves.
Cain stops laughing and his smile slowly turns intro a frown.
Dream Cain: Do you honestly think it was a mistake?
Cain: I don't know...