Emperyo Lazaro

19:

Rio is dead.

Narito kami ngayon sa sementeryo, sa may Paco, Maynila. Dahil dito pala nakatira ang pamilyang sinusustentuhan ni Rio.

Ang ama't ina niya ay matanda na, if i'm correct their age is already around  50s or 60s.

His siblings cried like a mad woman, their eyes are red and they can't just stop crying and it hurts me.

May kaya ang pamilya, oo meron. Pero mas pinili nilang manatili sa ipinamanang bahay ng yumaong ama ng tatay niya. He was buried next to his great-grandfather.

Ansakit isipin na hindi ko man lang napatawad at nakausap ng maayos si Rio. It is excruciating, but you need to live for those who lives right now because of you.

I never even gave him a proper goodbye, proper forgiveness when he was willing to take on everything.

Pinakawalan ko pa.

I've let him go.

Hindi ko namalayan na naluluha na rin ako habang naalala ko lahat ng pinagsamahan namin ni Rio. Pero wala eh, hanggang alaala ka nalang makakamit.

Inabutan ako ni kuya ng panyo at tinanggap naman ito, he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. He was sad too. Kahit na saglit niya lamang nakasama at puro pagpipintas ang ginawa nila sa isa't isa, nararamdaman ko ang lungkot ng aking kapatid.

" Please don't cry. "

Something caught my attention as the funeral ceremony goes on, hindi ako namamalik mata.

Si Mieke iyon.

But wasn't she found dead in her bed?

Teka lang, Kira. Baka nakahithit ka nanaman ng rugby bumangon-bangon ka na.

Pero agad naman nawala ang ginang.

Is she alive or what?

" Please tell me you saw her too. "

nanlaki ang luhaang mata ko, so asher saw it too?

" Nakita mo rin? " tanong ko sakaniya, at tumango ito.

How could possibly a dead woman be alive right now? She even was laging in her fucking coffin. Paano?

" I also saw her holding something. I don't know. Kira, baka nasisiraan na 'ko ng ulo, but the eyes never lie. "

Nagpapanic ang lalaki, so i motioned him to sit down and follow how i breathe. Hindi parin ito kumakalma.

" Kiya, listen to my voice and my voice alone. Sakin ka lang titingin, sa mata ko lang, and follow how i breathe. "

Hinawakan ko ang mga balikat nito at huminga ng malalim.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Onti-onting kumakalma ang paghinga niya, pero nanginginig parin ito.

Inhale.

Exhale.

" sakin ka lang titingin. "

his panicked eyes bore into mine, paunti-unti rin ang pag-iimprove nito.

" stay with me, listen to me, watch me. "

Hawak ko parin ang balikat nito, at iniangat ang isang kamay para hawakan ang pisngi nito. I ran my fingers to his now bleached hair and combed the hair with my fingers and massaged his scalp.

He finds comfort and relaxation and soon enough, pantay na ang paghinga nito.

Niyakap ko si kuya, he hasn't been like this, just when he got frightened and panicked in a situation like this.

" Are you okay? "

Gumanti naman ito ng yakap.

" I'm getting there, thank you. "

" do you want to go home and rest? "

Matagal ito bago nakasagot, his eyes examined the area. Natatakot parin ito.

" please, yes. I don't feel safe here. Parang may mali, Kira. "

Mali?

" What do you mean? "

Hinawakan nito ang pulso ko at saka tumayo at naglakad papalayo.

" Something's not right and i'll explain it to you when we get home. "

Nagmadali kaming hinanap ang sasakyan at sumakay sa loob.

He was panting, sweating and swearing.

" shit! fuck! gago! "

Napatingin na lamang ako sakanya at hinayaan ito.

" Kira, what if she's not really dead? What if everything is just a set up? Rio's sudden death, Attack on the Rivada's, Attack on the Villa, and- "

" Kuya, kumalma ka nga. Mieke can't be alive, her ashes was scattered in Batangas, diba? "

" Paano kung hindi talaga si Mieke yung namatay? "

natahimik ako muli dahil nakita ko muli ang aparisyon ni Mieke, o si Mieke talaga.

" Fuck it. "

Lumabas ako ng sasakyan at lumapit sakaniya, she's wearing white, but she didn't look dead at all, but very much alive.

Ikinasa ko ang baril ko ngunit nanginginig ako habang sa papalapit ako ng papalapit sakaniya.

" What do you want? "

Lumapit si Mieke at hinawakan nito ang pisngi ko, her hands were warm and rough, her hair was more gray than it was before.

" Save yourself. Save your brother. Save your family. Save him. "

Him?

Umalis na rin ito bago ako makapag salita ulit.

Bumalik ako sa sasakyan, still shocked and confused about what i just heard.

" What did she say? "

i leaned my head against the window and took deeo breaths, it can't sink in. I can't sink it all in.

" She's alive and well, she told me to save myself, save you, save our family- "

" and save him, isn't it? "

How did he know?

" Kira, don't. If it takes for you to die just to save me, please don't. "

" Kuya parang tanga- "

malamlam ang mga mata ni Kuya nung tumingin ito sakin, kinakabahan siya at nanlalamig ang kamay.

" alam ko, pero please. Let me die if it means you being alive. "