23 | life comes at you fast

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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

- Mark Twain

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Anxiety.


Anxiety is within everyone. Whether it's something small like completing an important essay with no mistakes or speaking in front of large amounts of people like a presentation for example.

With Chan, he was feeling anxious when he came closer to NCT 127's clan room in the halls of the clan rooms. Chan took a deep breath as he walked down the halls. His chest tightened and his fists clenched hard as his nails dug into his skin. Breathing slowly became a bit hard for Chan. The feeling of stuck took over Chan's mind as if his feet were permanently glued to the marble floors.

"Chan."

Chan looked over his shoulder and saw Alana standing behind him. He seriously thinks every student at Shujin Academy has teleportation powers because they always appear out of nowhere.

"Alana-" Chan began. He felt his heart in contentment as he saw his beloved friend. He wanted encouragement from his humble friend.

"Do not join," Alana ordered. Her eyes then looked towards the doors of the NCT 127 clan then back to Chan's dark brown eyes.

The intensive look in her eyes gave Chan a disapproving look. Chan took a step back from Alana shaking his head. Chan went through a lot of thinking about his big decision. It was full of what if's and don'ts. He also thought that survival was his main priority. The vow he follows by his mentor. Looking out for himself was gonna burn loads of bridges he didn't want to burn. However, he had no choice.

"For the first time ever, I disagree with you," Chan muttered. He avoided looking at Alana's heartbreaking reaction.

"Chan, this clan is not for you! I can see right through it." Alana stated. She approached Chan closer. "If Mark and Haechan are saying don't join, they mean it. I'm surprised Mark hasn't told you what the hell he goes through." Alana later scoffs.

"But this is survival, Alana." Chan sighed aloud, throwing his head back. He looked at the ceiling and then back at Alana. "Isn't that what you all preached to me?"

Alana remained silent. She clenched her jaw and fists.

"When I take the initiative to look out for myself, now all of a sudden it's a damn problem." Chan scoffs, "Dude, I'm not a fragile, scared kid like I was before! I learned how everything works in this wretched place!"

"People didn't think I would win a well-known competition in this school, Alana. It's uncommon for a winner to not join his or her desired clan. I need a brotherhood to back me up and inspire me!" Chan continues.

𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐂𝐄 ⇴ Bang Chan ✓ Where stories live. Discover now