Opposites attract, they said. [SeKai]

Summer Getaway Part Two

Jongin slowly turned around, but the look on his face made Sehun's heart drop to his feet. And at that moment he just knew, he was absolutely certain that Jongin saw something he wasn't supposed to see. The usual glint in his eyes was nowhere to be seen, all Sehun could see was sorrow.

He didn't even know if Jongin would ever forgive him. Because as much as he was planning to tell Jongin about everything, he definitely shouldn't have seen what happened. He couldn't imagine how much it hurt him. After a long moment of silence, he finally urged himself to speak.

"Are you o-"

"Just don't Sehun.... Don't pretend everything's okay. If you're gonna leave me, then just-" he clenched his fists. The sadness and the anger were clear in his tone. Sehun felt his heart thump against his chest and his legs were going weak. Fear began to overcome him from. He knew that if he didn't hold on to Jongin with everything he had right at that moment, he might just lose him forever. The thought of it sent shivers down his spine.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, feeling his legs give out as he kneeled down at the edge of the pool. "I've been horrible to you."

Jongin shook his head vigorously, "I knew things just weren't the same since that day. I forced something on you way too abruptly and you weren't ready. I tried to pretend like everything was okay after even when it wasn't. That was my fault. I acknowledge that. But this..." Jongin's sharp gaze locked with Sehun and the anger and betrayal was clear. "This I never expected from you. I've done everything, Sehun, I gave you my everything and if anything I only expected you to be loyal to me... But I guess that just means you don't love me anymore, huh?"

Sehun stared at his boyfriend incredulously, "That's not true... I just..." he didn't even know how to defend himself. He didn't even think he had the right to. Honestly, he only deserved all the pain he made Jongin feel and more. "You did everything right... and I did everything wrong. Every single thing. I flat out rejected you. And then I shut you out and and treated you like a stranger. And on top of all that, I went and kissed Luhan..."

Jongin winced at the last one. Sehun bit his lip but continued, "I've been so selfish, Jongin. And I know there's no excuse to justify what I did. All I can do is explain why... I just had so much on my mind. I didn't know what I wanted. I was confused and scared and..." he looked up into Jongin's glossy eyes, "I never stopped loving you, not even for a single second."

The elder's features softened ever so slightly, but the anger was quick to replace it. "What is it that he has... that I don't?"

Sehun shook his head profusely. "It's not even like that, Jongin... you were my first everything. And I wanted you to be my last. I gave you my everything, and I shared so much with you, And I guess at some point I just felt so trapped. I know it sounds so selfish and wrong but... I felt like I could never experience anyone but you in my life. And it just stressed me out, made me feel so empty inside, like I was missing something."

The boy in the pool splashed his hand against the water, making the other flinch. "I never wanted to trap you, Sehun. You... If you really wanted some time away from me, to meet other people and have your freedom, then I... I could have..." Jongin found himself unable to continue. Because what was he even supposed to say? Of course he never wanted to see Sehun with anyone else. He loved him way too much. He couldn't just watch him go away. "Why was I not enough?"

The question hit Sehun like a ton of bricks. It wasn't like Jongin wasn't enough, the boy absolutely made him feel loved and gave him way more than he could ask for. Jongin was more than enough, way more than Sehun deserved.

"I guess I was just so scared of committing to you, before knowing what it was ever like to be with someone else. I don't know why, I'm sorry. I just wish I was more experienced... I would have never put you through all this. You've been with so many people before me, but you were always my first. Maybe a part of me didn't expect things to go this far, and I just wasn't ready."